Well, I found out earlier this week that my neighbor's husband passed away last week. She is a very sweet woman, so when she mentioned about having to go to the eye doctor to get treated for her macular degeneration, I offered to drive her. (Not like I've got much going on while unemployed other than my writing and looking for jobs.) I've had my own experiences having to go to the retinologist and driving home with my eyes dilated; so I wanted to help. I brought my laptop thinking I'd do some writing while she was being treated; but unlike when I'd go to the retinologist and they'd leave me in the dark examining room while my eyes were dilating, after each step, she'd come back outside to the main (bright) waiting room. That's when my misophonia kicked in...
It would have been one thing for me to be able to sit and work on the computer while wearing my earbuds, thereby allowing me to focus on the computer screen without having to see or hear anything around me, but since my neighbor kept coming back to the waiting room, I wound up having a conversation with her with other patients constantly in my field of view (either directly across from me as I looked past her or in my side peripheral vision). I tried so hard to focus on what she was telling me about her family and friends but too many of the other people around me were fidgeting BIG TIME. (I guess that's to be expected when people are anxiously waiting to see the doctor.) First the person directly across from me was bouncing her foot so at one point while my neighbor was talking, I told her that I was still listening but got up and put my leather jacket on the armrest of the chair in-between me and the foot twitcher to block my view of her feet. Problem solved, or so I thought...
A few minutes after I put my jacket on the chair, an elderly man sat directly across from us and stretched out both of his legs in the middle of the aisle. He then proceeded to rock both of his feet in and out... In and out... Like two pendulums in a mirrored sync. It *really* triggered my misophonia so badly that I did something that I've never done before... I actually put my work "messenger bag" on my lap and opened the flap to block my view of the guy's legs. I'm not kidding. I must've looked ridiculous! There was no way that I could block the visual with my hair because his feet were practically under my nose. Then another guy sat just left of the chair where I put my jacket and started twitching his feet too. Even closing one eye didn't help, and as much as I tried so hard to pay attention to what my neighbor was saying, my annoyance to the triggers that were slowly beginning to surround me was really making the rage begin to change from a slight ember to an ever growing fire... I kept shifting my position to try to block all three people with the flap that I was holding open and still while listening to my neighbor. I'm ashamed to admit that I probably didn't hear half of the stories she was telling me because I was trying so hard to block the triggers. (Hopefully, I won't be quizzed on what she said when I take her to her grandson's high school jazz concert tonight. Who knows what updates I might be posting after that experience. I don't even remember the last time I attended a high school event. I'm less worried about trigger sounds - since I'm sure it will be a loud concert - than I am about visual ones.)
Anyway... I finally thought I had positioned myself in the waiting room in such a way that I was able to block the visual triggers when out of nowhere, I started to hear the sound of someone drumming their fingernails against a hard countertop. Just as I made a slight groan under my breath (which my neighbor heard), the nurse called her for her treatment. As soon as she got up, I quickly pulled out my laptop and plugged in my earbuds to drown out the tapping with my music. Another gentleman who had been sitting diagonally across from me (but sort of behind me when I was talking to my neighbor) must have lost his seat when he got up from his chair, so he took my neighbor's seat, which I didn't want to make a big deal about except for the fact that he immediately started bouncing both legs as soon as he sat down. I politely asked if he could stop bouncing his legs, which he did... for about two seconds before starting up again. I pulled my hair over to try and block the view of his legs and started writing this blog update.
I could feel my heart racing and was relieved when my neighbor came out about five minutes later to say that she was done. I couldn't wait to get out of there! I have to remember to be more careful around doctors' offices, especially knowing how anxious patients get while waiting to see their doctor. As stressful as the whole experience was, I'll admit that it did give me an interesting idea for a potential coping tool... Don't know how feasible a solution it could be, so I'll hold off writing about it here until I do a little more research first. (I'm not trying to be a tease... I just want to hash the idea out a bit before talking about it.)