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The "Butterfly's Whisper" Blog

Welcome to my blog. I hope by sharing my own misophonia experiences, others who are frustrated with misophonia sensitivities will discover that they're not alone. I also hope that people who may not have misophonia will gain some insight about what it's like to have this condition.

Please feel free to post any comments or use the "Contact Us" page if you have any questions/comments you don't want to post online.

Contact ME

Another Misophonia Coping Tool App

5/29/2013

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Despite all the misophonia stress I experienced while at the conference in Philly a couple of weeks ago, today I got a surprise that totally made up for it. I met up with one of my local reps for work to discuss a project and he handed me an envelope from one of the manufacturers whose products I sometimes specify. It was a letter of congratulations saying that my entry at their conference display booth was one of the ones chosen to win an iPad. I had to reread it a couple of times because I didn't believe it, until my rep pulled out the iPad prize from his backpack. I was so excited because my Droid tablet is running on it's last breath right now, and I was debating about buying one of those Microsoft Surface tablets as a replacement so I could work on my memoir more easily.

I've resisted going the "i" route for a while (there are some features that are on Droid products that the Apple products lack) but will admit that the first app I thought about downloading is something one of my coworkers suggested to me when I told her about my misophonia. She showed me an app called "Relax Melodies Premium: HD" for iPads/iPhone devices that she has on her iPad. It not only has brown, pink and white noises, but also nature sounds, heart beats, binaural sounds... nearly a hundred sounds to help people sleep (and I'm assuming would be just as effective as a misophonia coping tool as well.) It's rated five stars out of 1159 ratings, so it must be good. I'll admit that I thought that this app was only for iPads/iPhones but as I looked up the website for downloading the app, I discovered that Amazon has the same "Relax Melodies Premium" app for Android devices too. They both cost $2.99 for the premium version, although there is a free version as well. (Not sure about the differences, although I assume the free one has those annoying advertisements.)

On another note, tomorrow I have an appointment for my annual physical with my primary doctor first thing in the morning and it's going to be the first time I've seen her after having been diagnosed with misophonia. I want to get there super early so I can be the first person to sign in and, hopefully, speak to her before she gets bogged down with her other appointments. I want to have some time pick her brain about potential doctors and other resources to pursue on my quest for misophonia relief and will bring the 3D brain scans from my MRI visit back in March (as described in my 3/20/13 blog post) and talk to her about what other information I've found so far. I'm also going to ask her thoughts about fMRI tests as a means to map what areas of the brain might be affected by triggers. It will be interesting to hear what she has to say.
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More thoughts about misophonia in the workplace

5/28/2013

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I can already tell today is going to be an interesting day with regard to my misophonia. I arrived in the office super early and even before I got to my desk, I heard this beeping sound every couple of seconds, much like when a smoke detector's battery is about to die. I realized that it was coming from the building's alarm system by the entry door. I thought to myself that maybe I didn't close the door fully (it's locked until around 8 a.m.) and when I checked, I found out I was right... But closing it didn't stop the annoying beeping. It was at that moment that I realized that I left my earbuds in my jeans pocket yesterday after doing an errand. Ever since my last cellphone OS update, it hasn't been pairing well with my car's bluetooth. So for the first time in over a year and a half of having the earbuds, I've actually had to start using them regularly to speak on the phone while driving. (Even though there's no "hands-free" laws in this area, I still don't like driving while holding a phone to my ear.) Luckily, I always carry a couple of pairs of earplugs in my purse, but they don't block out as many triggers as my earbuds. So, I'm already predicting that it's going to be a very interesting day at the office today...

Getting back to the swing of things is pretty rough when I've  been traveling so long over the past couple of weeks. In some ways, it's been a  welcome break from being bombarded with triggers in my office environment; in  others, as mentioned in my 4/30/13, 5/1/13, and 5/9/13 posts, the first two weeks was an even worse continuous trigger  bombardment than I've ever had before. I had hoped that the hecticness of
playing catch-up from being away for so long would have distracted me enough that triggers wouldn't have bothered me, but I was wrong. As much as moving to my new desk location has helped somewhat, mainly since I don't hear my podmates reading out loud to themselves or tapping their fingers anymore, being adjacent to the reception area and package drop off exposed me to others. For instance, the receptionist always keeps a candy bowl filled on her desk (I know, since I'm one of the people who likes to dip into it), so now I constantly hear the crinkling of candy wrappers being opened. There's also the whistlers who pass by my area on their way up/downstairs or out the building.

Part of my problem is I've gotten lax with wearing my earplugs in my new location, mainly since I'm constantly getting up to go discuss issues with coworkers at their desks or calling reps/consultants to discuss projects. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle the situation. I don't want to go to HR without having a suggestion as to how to solve the issue, but I don't know what other solutions to offer. The only office with a door is literally 5 feet behind one of our I/T people who is a constant whistler. Even though the office is spread out across three floors in two buildings (two in one building, one in the other), there are
regular whistlers and people constantly opening soda cans in all three sections. I don't know if I'll ever find a place in the office where I won't be bombarded by triggers.

I'm not alone with this sentiment, and it's not just by other misophonia sufferers. While looking up additional articles to add to the SenseHaven.com "Other Resources" pages, I discovered a NY Times article about open office environments titled, "From Cubicles, Cry for Quiet Pierces Office Buzz" (dated 5/19/12). Although not about misophonia, I did think it an interesting article to share, especially since it talks about open office environments and how, "Headphones are the new wall." There was also a reference
to a study on the open office environment, but the link didn't work for me. I tried Googling the university that did the study and found another article called, "Want to Reduce Productivity? Go to an Open Office
Environment
."  It's so very tempting to share these articles with my office (we have an in-house intranet with a "Twitter like" feed on the homepage for stuff like this), especially since my firm is considering moving to a new "ideal workplace" facility around 2016 (the time of our 50th anniversary which, coincidentally, is also when our lease ends for our current location.) My problem is that I'm afraid of pissing off my coworkers with such an article, many of whom have been tolerant of my requests to stop trigger noises when I ask them. Most architectural/engineering design firms have an open office environment to facilitate communication and collaboration within the teams, which is especially important to my current firm. The fact that my firm celebrates architecture within the building itself by having exposed wooden/metal structure and infrastructure throughout the facilities means that there's not much sound dampening materials either. It's a really difficult environment for someone with misophonia...

I'm really going to have to figure out if there is any other ways I can help myself cope with the triggers in my office. One thing I've learned over the years when it comes with dealing with problems in the workplace... A person who complains about an issue is not as successful in obtaining help from others to address the problem as when the person is able to also bring solutions to the table as well.
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Smell triggers

5/26/2013

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So, as I mentioned in my previous post, I'm trying to get back into the swing of things with keeping up with blog posts, memoir writings, and website updates.  I had to do some quick errands today and when I was done, I found myself near one of my favorite coffee shops to write (mainly because it's pretty small and not too crowded). So, today I tackled updating the SenseHaven.com website with new article links and even finally added the "Smell and Taste" section to the Triggers page. I figured since I didn't know of many triggers in those categories that affect people more than just myself, I combined the two into one page. If anyone knows of others not listed, please let me know via my Contact Us page so I can expand the list.

Anyway, I've been sitting here for a couple of hours, plugged into my music, and despite the comings and goings of other customers, I haven't really noticed my surroundings... That is until about an hour ago when my nose was bombarded by the heavy fragrance of a woman who sat behind me (on what appears to be a date). Since I was sitting at a table right next to the door, fresh air blown right at my face every time a customer entered the cafe, I didn't think the scent would bother me enough to switch tables. I was wrong... Being so late in the afternoon, there wasn't as many customers entering/leaving the place as I expected, so I was bombarded by the pungent aroma every time I inhaled. Not only did the woman's perfume annoy me, it started to give me a headache too...

I looked across the space to the other side  and luckily a small table with a power outlet that's located in-between the back entrance and the drive through window area opened up. I actually have a pretty sensitive sense of smell (in addition to all my other senses), and have been able to smell cigarette smoke clear across the room from the outside door of a crowded restaurant or lingering on someone who hadn't lit a cigarrette in a couple of hours. Like my experience with a strong woman's perfume while on a plane (which I described at the end of my 4/4/13 post),  I didn't know if I'd truly be able to escape the woman's perfume smell, but I was lucky. Although there aren't many people entering/leaving this entrance, enough people are using the drive through that I get enough whiffs of fresh air to continue where I left off, so... I'm back to updating the SenseHaven.com website. Check out the new information on the following pages:

-  General Scientific Research

- Articles & Videos

- Articles Focused on School-Aged Children  

... not to mention the new Current Poll question on the SenseHaven.com homepage.
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Back to "normal"...?

5/25/2013

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I wish I could say that title is with regard to my misophonia, but actually I'm referring to finally having put the past whirlwind month of back-to-back conference travels behind me and trying to get back into my "normal" daily life again. (Some days it's harder to come up with a good title than others.)

Here it is, the beginning of Memorial Day weekend, and I'm actually at the office trying to play catch-up. (Let's just say, being out of the office for three out of four consecutive weeks is not something I hope to repeat anytime soon.) I actually thought I was going to stay put for a while, but last week I found out I have to go on another business trip to North Carolina next week for a project, and to meet with a potential new client just a two-hour drive east of the first project's location. Despite this new trip, I want to get back into a more regular routine with writing this blog (not to mention to pick up where I left off with my memoir) so that SenseHaven.com doesn't fall behind in keeping you all up to date. There are a few recent updates on the website to note:

            * There's going to be a misophonia support group MeetUp tomorrow (5/26) in the UK. 

            * A new book about misophonia called "Sound-Rage"  is about to come out this summer

            * An Article on the Science 2.0 website called "Amygdala Modulation - Why Fingernails On Blackboards Make Us Crazy."

            * A new article describing misophonia on the "Psychology Today" website

I'm sure there's much more information that came out over the past several weeks. It just may take me a little bit longer to play catch-up with researching more misophonia news.

One thing that I did want to expand upon was something to which I alluded in my 5/9/13 post. As I mentioned before, I had several intriguing, yet intense, discussions about misophonia with my uncle when I went back home. One of the things that these discussions forced me to do was to describe my condition to someone who not only doesn't have misophonia, but also to someone who has diminished senses (due to severe sinus issues as well as occassional major wax build-up in his ears.) That's quite a challenge in itself, since my senses are hyper-acute and he doesn't necessarily notice many of the sensations to which I react. (E.g. Eating/swallowing sounds.)  He'd also push me to describe what's going on in my mind at the time of the trigger (something to which I assume is related to a cognitive therapy approach). Many times when I'd try to explain what my triggers are he'd ask, "Why do they bother you?" It got to be a point when I would say, "I don't know why? Why do some people like sushi (like myself) when other people can't stand it (like the rest of my family)? Why do some people like hard rock music and others don't? I don't know why I'm annoyed by certain sensations. They just bother me."

Probably the most intense discussion we had was when I described about my experiences hiking back in the DC area. I explained how I enjoyed going on full-day hikes with one particular group, because it was an exhilarating form of exercise and it was the one time I could get away from the intensity of urban life to let my mind relax with the sounds of mother nature. (The birds, the crickets, babbling water streams, the wind through the leaves...) The one type of hiking situation where I had some misophonia difficulties was when I was walking too close to people who were having loud conversations, at which time I'd put in my earplugs. That's when my uncle would challenge me... "Why does their conversations bother you? Why not join in their conversation? Why bother going on hikes then?" I tried to explain that with these particular hikes, people tend to hike at different speeds, so we wind up being quite spread out along the trail - as much as a mile or so between the first and last people. Some people like to race... Others are not regular hikers and wound up being VERY slow. That's why the group always has a strong hike leader to stay at the front and a "sweep" to make sure that no one gets lost or is able to help when someone gets hurt. I honestly don't think my uncle truly understood that even though technically I hiked with a group, it's not like we all stayed in one close bunch the entire 7-14 miles of the trail.

My favorite times on hikes were when I was in the middle of the spread out group and there was no one within eyeshot either in front of me or behind me. That's when I truly felt one with nature. It was when I got too close to a couple of people, or people behind who caught up with me, that the "buzzing" of their conversations would interrupt my meditative enjoyment of the sounds of nature around me. That's what my uncle couldn't understand and at first, and I had to really think about why I didn't like to be near people having a conversation while I was on a hike. When I tried to compare the frustration in that situation to what I experience in a movie theater, even before I explained why, he fought me saying that my analogy was wrong... "Going on a hike is not like going to a movie theater." That was, until I insisted that he listen to my whole reasoning behind the comparison...

I explained that when I go to a movie theater, it's not just for entertainment... It's a means to "escape" from reality by immersing myself in someone else's story presented on-screen. I don't want to be thinking about my daily work stresses or focus on the fact that I'm sitting in a movie theater with my feet sticking to the floor... I want to feel like I'm actually in the story. When people crunch their popcorn, crinkle food wrappers, whisper behind me, kick the seats, or play with their phones, those triggers are distractions that once heard/felt, I can't ignore. Even the egress lights along the aisle can sometimes prevent me from fully immersing myself in the movie experience.They snap me out of that fantasy world and bring me back to misophoniac reality knowing that I'm sitting in a movie theater with dozens of other people. The only way that I can "tune out" those distracting triggers are to wear my earplugs during the movie, which sometimes means I can't hear subtle sounds within the movie itself.

I then went on to say that when I'd go on a hike, like the movies, it's to immerse myself in the enjoyment of the experience of mother nature and to "escape" from my daily grind... Being a techie, the intensity of urban life can be very overwhelming, but when I'm high in the mountains with no cell phone coverage, it forces me to take in my surroundings and immerse myself in the moment. Because of my sensitive hearing, even a conversation 50 yards behind me can snap me out of that experience, not because I'm listening to the details of the conversation (and believe me, many of those conversations I wish I hadn't heard), but because it was just enough to hear the "S's" and other verbal sounds that are the same triggers I have when coworkers around me read softly out loud to themselves. The triggers don't fit in with the other background sounds and it's enough to snap me out of the comforting sensations of the natural environment.

Once I explained that hikes are just as much of an "escape" to me as going to the movies, he finally seemed to understand what I was trying to convey. He did question why then I wouldn't just go on hikes by myself, to which I explained that I am not comfortable with the idea of going on long hikes like these alone. In addition to many news items about lone hikers that were attacked or abducted, there's also the fact that with no cell phone coverage on many trails, if I were to get hurt or lost, it would be more difficult to get help. Yes, I'm a fairly experienced hiker and I'm pretty good when it comes to directions, but experienced hikers can have unforseen problems. I have been the "sweep" leader on several hikes where I had to help people who got hurt. Heck, on one of the first hikes I did with the group, (the Capital Hiking Club) nearly a decade ago, my well broken-in hiking boots lost one of its soles two miles into a seven mile hike. Unpredictable things do happen. I just try to prepare myself as best as I can to minimize problems when they occur.
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Second conference down...

5/17/2013

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Hooray! The past whirlwind of back-to-back conferences is almost behind me. I'm sitting in a small club room at the Las Vegas airport waiting to go back to the Midwest and took this as a nice, quiet opportunity to catch up with this blog. Yesterday, two colleagues and I presented a panel session at a conference.  I won't say that things are going to calm down for me now that the presentation is over. Now that THAT presentation is done, I hopefully can focus on playing big  time catch-up at the office and try to get back into a more regular posting routine here.

Out of all the cities that I've ever presented seminars or attended conferences, Las Vegas is by far my favorite. In fact, I can honestly say that I had very little trigger experiences while at my Vegas conference compared to the nearly constant bombardment I experienced at my Philly conference a couple of years ago. I know some people can take it or leave it when it comes to Vegas but as a lighting designer, it is a truly inspiring and creative city.

The one consistent thing about Vegas that is tough for me, because it is one of my smell triggers, is the prevalence of smoking in casinos. Years ago I heard that there had been an attempt to have a smoke-free casino but from what I understand, it was a total flop. So, I try to minimize my exposure to cigarette smoke by staying at one of the few hotels on the strip that doesn't have a casino called TheHotel. (Yes, that is it's name.) Out of all the hotels I've stayed at while in Vegas (which is a lot), TheHotel is, in my opinion, is the best hotel for someone like me with misophonia. It's a fairly quiet hotel (no noises from the slot machines since there is no casino in the hotel), the rooms are all suites (so the bedroom is separated from the public corridor by the outside door and the door between the living room and the bedroom), the architectural finishes are pretty dark and soothing, and the staff pretty much makes sure that your stay is very relaxing. I also try to get what's called the "V" style suite, which is at the ends of the corridors, so since my room was next to the stairwell, I only had one neighboring guestroom. Didn't hear a sound! I did have to switch rooms once when I first arrived because they put me on a smoking floor but once that issue was resolved, I had a very relaxing stay there.

Outside of the conference, I don't go to Vegas to gamble. If I want to lose money, I'd rather spend a couple of hundred dollars to for a relaxing day at a spa instead of losing it all in 5-10 minutes at a gaming table.  For me, the spa is a place where I can truly put the stresses of work and city life behind me and bathe myself in relaxing sensory stimulation: The smell of lavender or other soothing scents, the sounds of harps and other lyrical instruments, the sensual fabrics and other luxurious tactile sensations, the calming dim lighting and even the refreshing drinks of cucumber water or, in this one spa I visited a couple of days ago, a pineapple/cranberry drink. Typically, I don't experience misophonia triggers when I'm in the spa because of how quiet the rooms are, except in some lounge areas that have water cascading down the walls - but even that to me is soothing. Kind of like the sounds of babbling brooks or waterfalls when I would hike back east. I did have an interesting trigger experience a couple of days ago while at the spa...

I just finished a manicure/pedicure (so I'd look my best for yesterday's presentation) and knowing that I'm notorious for messing up my nails shortly after having them done, I decided to go back to one of the lounges to relax for about an hour while they dry more fully. I was casually talking to one of the attendants when out of nowhere, another attendant walked behind me and at right when she was directly behind me, she started whistling a tune. She whistled it less than a foot or two from my ear so instinctively, I immediately put my fingers in my ears and the attendant with whom I was talking looked at me kind of funny. I explained to her about my misophonia and how whistling is one of my worst triggers. The attendant said to me that there's another attendant in the spa who has the same difficulty with whistling and other sounds. She even said that her significant other also has issues with some sounds. Since I had my purse on me, I was able to pull out a couple of "business" cards I put together for this website. I figured if I could help those two people, an perhaps be able to inform others about misophonia, it makes this website and blog all the more worthwhile to me.
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After the conference...

5/9/2013

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Well, as I predicted a couple of posts ago, I had a feeling that trying to post around my conference travels was going to be tough. It wound up being more hectic than I thought, especially with some complications
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during my travels back west. Let's just say that what should've been a pretty straightforward trip (that should've taken around six or seven hours tops) took me nearly seventeen and on top of that, when I finally did get back to the Midwest, it was snowing... In May! I haven't experienced May snow since I was a kid living in upstate New York nearly three decades ago!

Anyway... I won't go into the travel portion because, outside of the fact that the plane that was supposed to take me from my layover stop to my end destination was over three hours late arriving to the departure airport to take me on my last leg, travel is travel and I can't say much was different than the experiences I described in my 4/30/13 post. What I do want to share in today's entry is a bit of what my trip home to be with my folks was like. (There is a lot to talk about - too much to try and relay in one post alone.) I'll give a little snippet here now, mainly because I feel badly for not having posted in a while. (Let's just say I've been completely slammed at work trying to put out fires and meet deadlines before heading off to speak at another conference next week.)

One small thing I noticed about my trip home was that I was found myself bombarded by triggers much more than I've felt before. I pretty much left my earplugs in the entire time I was at home. My folks were very understanding about it and at times I tried to only wear one, but in the end found that even leaving one ear exposed - especially during meal times - felt very unbearable to me. I've always known that eating/drinking triggers are very bad for me at the dining room table, but I was very surprised to find that I could hear my aunt drink a glass of what I can only assume was orange juice (one of her favorite morning beverages) in another room. I'm not kidding. I heard every swallow (which actually is a double swallow sound) while sitting in the living room over 25' away from the enclosed kitchen. There's a wall between the two rooms, although the kitchen has openings on both of the short ends. I didn't see her, so it's not like I visually anticipated her drinking the juice, yet I could hear her swallowing the entire glass.  I couldn't believe it myself!

Putting the eating/drinking triggers aside, I did have several major conversations with my folks about misophonia, not just about my own experiences but in general as well. My uncle is a therapist so he and I spent a lot of time delving into some deep discussions about what it's like, how it's affected me, and I even pulled some medical/psychological research articles off the web so he could read write-ups by fellow professionals, instead of just hearing about my own "layperson" accounts. There were times that he really pushed me with my thoughts, sometimes to the point of frustration on my part,  but afterwards I'm glad he did. He really made me think how to verbalize my experiences in different ways and opened myself to other ideas I hadn't considered before. (I know I'm being vague here but I really want to address the specifics in subsequent posts because we really went in-depth into certain topics.)

One thing I'd like to share here is that this was the first opportunity that I was able to share with my folks the doctor's printed report from the Mayo Clinic. I really wanted to know my uncle's professional opinion about what he wrote because my past discussions with him has only been about my interpretation of the report. What I found interesting is that he said the report was very well written. He said it was clear, concise, and that the doctor said I described my condition very intelligently. He didn't think that the doctor was overly focused about my mother's suicide as much as my interpretation of the report. What can I say? It could be that my past experiences with how people react when they found out how she died made me read more into the doctor's mentioning it twice in the report than I should have. Perhaps after being told to prepare to be there for 5-6 days while a patient, I was disappointed that my visit took less time than the 3.5 hour it took me to drive there and that they didn't do any brain scans or other tests beyond simple manual resistance and motor skills tests. I hope my earlier posts didn't come across as dismissive. I certainly don't want to dissuade anyone else from going there. I figure the more people that go to Mayo Clinic for help, the more they'll realize that there is a need FOR help, and perhaps our plight will inspire the doctors there to investigate it more. Maybe someone else with misophonia will have better luck with them than I did (especially if that person goes to them without the same kind of tragedies I experienced earlier in life.) If there are any readers out there who also went to the Mayo Clinic to seek help, I'd love to hear how your experiences there compared to mine.

Anyway, my uncle did comment about the doctor's recommendation that I see a cognitive therapist (which I seem to recall was in their Mental Health Group). My uncle had a book by the psychiatrist who developed the cognitive therapeudic approach, Aaron Beck, and since I didn't get a chance to read it while at home, I plan to see if I can borrow it from a library to learn more about what it's all about. If it may help with my misophonia, I'm certainly open to explore different options. The one thing my uncle cautioned me is that if I seek help from a cognitive therapist, they will focus on the psychological aspect of what I'm going through, and not really consider the physiological side. I do still believe that my misophonia is more physical than psychological, so I may hold off pursuing the cognitive therapist right now - at least until I have a chance to read the book my uncle showed me so I can understand more about the therapy.

On a side note, I do want to follow-up my 4/10/13 post about the webinar by the behavioral scientist. I watched one of his sessions a few days before I started my travels and he sent me a link to the recording on YouTube while I was away. If you're interested, the YouTube recording is here.
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Conference week - Part 2

5/1/2013

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So, once I rested up from my long day of traveling, I hit the conference full speed ahead. Unfortunately, so did my misophonia triggers. (Not much I didn't expect from being in such a large public forum though.)

The morning started with my heading down to Starbucks to grab an iced hazelnut macchiatto (something I've started to enjoy in recent weeks). I left early enough to beat the huge rush, but just barely... After waiting in line for about 5 minutes, I noticed the woman behind me sniffing (practically in my ear) every several seconds. This was one of my frequent triggers while riding the metro down in DC in the winter and early spring months. Back then, I would scramble to put my earplugs in as soon as I heard a sniffle, totally fighting the urge to shove a travel pack of Kleenex in their face to get them to stop. It never was just one sniff and for whatever reason, no one ever blew their nose. They just spent the entire metro ride sniffling. I don't know what made me offer the woman a tissue this time but maybe I've gotten to a point where I want to stop keeping my discomfort to myself. I turned to her and politely asked if she'd like a tissue, to which she responded, "No thanks. It's just allergies." I angrily thought to myself,  "I don't care what's causing it!" and then said to her how I've got a medical condition that her sniffling in my ear was aggrevating. Funny thing... She actually stopped for the rest of the time we were in the queue.

From there, I picked up my conference badge at the speaker ready room and headed over to my first class. On the way, there was a maintenance man pushing a plastic dumpster down the hall while whistling. I immediately tried to put my fingers in my ears but since I was still holding the large iced macchiato, I must have looked riddiculous walking with my fingers in my ears, still holding the iced drink next to my left ear. I realized then that it was probably going to be a LONG day of trigger bombardment. Even though I arrived at class late (they switched rooms to the other side of the building), I lucked out and there was still a completely empty table right at the front of the room by the projection screen. (My ideal place to sit in these seminars.) Unfortunately, the guy sitting at the table directly behind me started sniffling so back in went the earplugs. That's the great thing about being at the front of the room. Even if the speakers weren't using microphones (in most of my classes they were), they were loud enough that I could leave in my earplugs and still hear the presentation while blocking out any background trigger noises.

I pretty much left in the earplugs for the majority of the conference. Only a couple of times did I take them out, usually when I was in a one-to-one conversation with a colleague. I was surprised to find out that even with them in place, I needed to avoid going into the speaker ready room around lunchtime. The conference organizers provided speakers coffee, munchies, and even lunch during the event but lunchtime was really tough because EVERYONE would grab a soda and the PSSSHHHHTTT-CLICK sound was constantly hitting me from all directions every few minutes. Not a good time to work on my own presentation (which, after all was said and done, seemed to be very well received by the people who attended my program.)

The one other thing I'll share about my misophonia triggers while at the conference (since much of that week was the same stuff, just a different day) is that, like most other conferences I've attended around the country over the years, the convention center likes to use the type of chairs in their "auditorium style" setup that link the chair frames across the entire row. (See left image below.) I'm sure they do it to keep the seating organized but for someone like me with tactile triggers, it's a real pain in the butt because someone could be kicking/knocking against the chair at the end of my row but because all the metal chair frames are connected, the vibrations quickly travel down to my chair.  One of the first things I try to do when entering a seminar room is to find the end seat of the front row and detach it from the rest of the linked chairs. (Right image below.) At least then, I only have to deal with the people sitting directly behind me.
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Usually, if I get there early enough and the seminar hasn't started yet, I'd even politely ask the people behind me to not rest their feet or bags on the back of my chair because I'm very sensitive to the vibrations. Believe it or not, the people to whom I've made that request directly were pretty understanding and I didn't have a problem during the presentation. The problem usually happens when I arrive after the presentation started and I don't have that one-to-one opportunity, and wind up either sharply turning around while giving the person a dirty look or putting my own bag on the back of my chair to get them to stop. I prefer having the direct conversation though. I usally get better results.   :-)

Next post: After the conference - My visit home
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    About the Author

    Emlyn Altman has been suffering with misophonia for over 35 years, even though she only found out about the actual medical condition much more recently. As frustrating as the condition has been over the years, her heightened sensitivities across all the senses considerably influenced her talents within the visual fine arts (particularly sculpture), music (singing, piano, and many other instruments), writing, and culinary backgrounds, as well as professional achievements as an architectural lighting designer. Her goal in developing this website is to promote more awareness about misophonia and help other sufferers as well.


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