So, today was a very fun and educational day. I went back to the university where I spoke a couple of weeks ago, to sit in on one of the classes' final presentations. (Yes, they only had a little over two weeks to design and build their final light fixture.) I was blown away by how creative and well produced the luminaires were, when the students had such a short time to develop them. I hope to be able to see the final designs for the other class later this year.

Prior to seeing the students' final presentations, the professor and I had a lovely chat over lunch. One thing I should mention before going on any further is that the website host I use here shows me statistics for what search terms people use when search engines relay them here. One phrase that caught my attention was, "How to tell professor about misophonia." As I've mentioned in previous posts, I want to help others that are affected by misophonia (whether directly, or indirectly), so I was very glad to have an opportunity to ask someone in academia her thoughts.

From our discussion, it seemed like one of the best ways is to just be honest and tell the professor. I know it's hard to do, but if it's any help... I've written similar situations where I've told my coworkers about my misophonia and a lot has to do with how a person conveys what misophonia is and how it affects one's situation. Yes, work environments are somewhat different than a classroom, but it's still a matter of communication - and doing so in a calm, intelligent manner.

Another thing she mentioned is that many higher-ed schools have an office that handles issues to accommodate a student's needs. If the student with misophonia doesn't feel comfortable speaking directly with the professor, perhaps finding out what office handles accommodation issues would be another way to go. I can understand that course of addressing the situation since, nearly a decade ago, I was an adjunct professor and the week before one of my classes began, the head of my department informed me that one of my students had ADD as well as Tourrette syndrome. Now mind you, it was the first time I had ever been an adjunct professor, so needless to say I was a little bit nervous because I didn't know much about accommodating someone with one, let alone both, conditions.  It worked out well though. The student was able to give me some information to help me better understand his needs, and his classmates were also aware of his conditions, so they were very accommodating to him (and helpful to me) too. I was able to adjust some of my lessons to work with him and in the end, he was one of my top students.

I know many of us struggle with sharing our struggles with misophonia to others, but I would hope that most educators and academic institutions would be willing to accommodate a misophonia students' needs, especially if the instructors have an awareness of how they can facilitate the students'learning.  They just need to understand what those needs are...

I feel like I'm way overdue for posting here, but it's been a VERY busy week. I had a wonderful beginning of the week by visiting my best friend in Indiana for a housewarming get together. I hadn't seen her in over a year, so I savored every moment we had together. Actually, it was during the last time I saw her, when I had a 24 hour trip back to DC, where I met a stranger on a plane who introduced me to the term misophonia. So, I am eternally grateful to my friend for inviting me to that special post-wedding celebration that changed my life. (Thank you, S!!!)

During the last few hours I spent with her on Sunday, we talked a lot about this blog/website, why I did it as a full-blown website, and not just a blog, how long it took me to put it all together... etc. I hadn't actually thought much about the last item when she asked but as far as the other questions, I knew I wanted to create a resource that would not only be informative to other sufferers like myself, but to help promote awareness and support to people who are connected with misophonia indirectly. I'll never forget when that stranger across the aisle on the plane mentioned having seen the 20/20 report on misophonia (when she overheard me try to explain to a flight attendant about my sound sensitivity), I pulled out my cell phone in record time trying to Google the term misophonia before the door closed, and then when it did, I was chomping on the bit for the plane to touch the tarmac, so I could boot up my phone again and continue my search. After realizing I wasn't crazy, that there was a medical condition for my decades of suffering, I

Today I visited one of the local Toastmasters' clubs, knowing that I wanted to rejoin them again. I was a member from about 1997-2005, and then I stopped because my previous firm (where I started in 2005) was not near any club locations and I was too overwhelmed there to put in the time that I wanted. Toastmasters has greatly helped my speaking and leadership skills over the years and not participating in nearly a decade is definitely noticeable (at least to me). In fact, if it weren't for my Toastmaster's club back in 1997, I would not have had the courage or the skills to speak in front of 150 people at my first conference presentation back in 1999.

You may ask why I'm bringing this up in a blog that mainly focuses on misophonia issues. Well, each club around the world has it's own personality and way of running meetings. Today's club was one of two that I had narrowed down my choices where I'd want to join. It is a very friendly club (like most are), the speakers are strong (great inspiration for improvement), and they even do some extra steps to aid in self-evaluation opportunities (like video taping the presentations). One other thing that they do which, out of all the other clubs I've attended or visited over the years, I've never seen done before, is they have a "Treatmaster" who

Yes... The past two days have been filled with whistlers at the office. (Darn that catchy Disney tune!)

Yesterday, I had two back-to-back meetings in the same conference room and even though I prepared myself by putting in my earplugs even before I entered the room (I can remove earplugs much more discretely than I can insert them), of course I had to sit directly across from the principal leading the first meeting, who started whistling as he was setting up his presentation. (FYI: This was the same principal that not only gave me a hard time about my blocking out my calendar last Wednesday, he's also the same principal that whistled while reading a menu during our business trip too. How the heck am I *always* sitting across from him?!?!?) As annoyed as I was when he started whistling, I calmly and politely said to him, "Please don't whistle." Believe it or not, he said, "I'm sorry," and stopped! This is a man that intimidates me, and yet he respected me enough to stop. (And yes, he is aware of my misophonia.) What a relief!

Of course, that particular meeting was held during lunchtime and the bag lunches had potato chips, but whereas the whistling sound cut through my earplugs, any crunching noises (if there were any) did not.

The next meeting, was a much smaller group (only seven of us, versus about twenty people in the other meeting) and unfortunately, the person who started whistling before the meeting started was someone I didn't know well (nor was he aware of my misophonia). Regardless, I again calmly and politely asked the person if he could stop whistling, and again I was very grateful that he did.  Now, maybe the kindness of both whistlers has a bit to do with the genuinely nice personalities of the people out here in the Midwest, but whatever it is, I'm so thankful that they did respect my requests enough to stop. Granted, they wouldn't have whistled during the meeting but I might have had to walk outside until the meeting started if they hadn't stopped when I asked them.

Today, I wasn't at the office, but I still had a couple of whistling encounters. I traveled to one of our other office locations to work on a team project installation and experienced my first two whistlers of the day at a Starbucks: One was a customer who just entered the cafe, the other was one of the barristas. Unfortunately, I didn't feel comfortable asking either person to stop, but luckily the webinar I was attending was about to start. I was able to plug into my favorite earbuds and completely tune them out.

Once that was done though, I went over to the gallery where our teams were setting up an exhibit of our designs.  Someone in our gallery (as well as in the adjacent gallery) started whistling and it was much more annoying than any of the prior experiences over the two days. Unlike the other locations, this gallery had concrete floors and very large, open spaces. If you've ever heard the kind of echo that occurs when a person whistles in a stairwell, that's what this sounded like. The sound just echoed all around me and even though I had earplugs in my purse, I had my hands full helping my teammates install our panel elements and regardless, my purse was halfway across the room. There was no way I could discretely stop what I was doing. Oh well. The whistling was brief and now it's in the past too. Having a two-hour drive home also gave me a lot of time to meditate and de-stress from the tension caused by the whistling.

Sometimes, when I don't have any choice in the matter, I just have to grit my teeth and hope that the triggers are short ones. Luckily for me today, they were...

So, as predicted in my previous post, I worried for (almost) nothing. I was able to wake up early and left at 5:45 a.m., so I made it to the university with plenty of time to set-up, make a few tweaks to my presentation, and spend a little time talking with the professor about her classes and lighting education in general. It wound up being a very busy day of back-to-back lecturing and one-on-one desk critiques. By the time I gave my last critique, my throat was really sore, but I was so excited by all the creative designs I saw being developed by the students.

Each class had about twenty students, most of them women. Although I was worried that there'd be a lot of gum chewers in the small classroom, I only noticed one student (the only male in the first class) chewing gum before I began my first presentation. I was a little nervous when I saw that, but he never cracked his gum during class and once the lights were turned off for my PowerPoint presentation, I didn't notice him chewing at all. There were a couple of students who I'd see twirling their hair from the corner of my eye, but during those times, I either turned to look at the slide projected on the screen or I turned my gaze to make eye contact with students in the other half of the room. All-in-all, it worked out really well. I hope to be able to go back in a couple of weeks to see their final designs constructed.

I did have a little snag when I got back to the office the next day though. One of the principals emailed me while I was at the university to say that my annual marketing report meeting to the principals for my discipline had to move from our scheduled time this past Friday to another day. (Unfortunately, my cell phone ran out of battery and I couldn't try to charge it until I got to my car charger on the way home). He sent a follow-up email telling me off for blocking out the entire month of October in my Outlook calendar,

Tomorrow I get a little change of pace from my usual Wednesday at the office: I was asked to be a guest lecturer for two graduate school classes at a prominent local university. Even though I've got a long 2+ hour drive ahead of me (meaning I have to leave at 6 a.m. to give me enough time to get there and set-up for their 9 a.m. class - and getting up early has been extremely difficult ever since I was on pain killers after my car accident), that isn't what's on my mind right now... This is the first time I've taught in a university setting since being diagnosed with misophonia last year and, strangely enough, my thoughts are more focused on how I'm going to feel or react if any of the students are chewing gum during my presentation.

Mind you, I've spoken at a college/university level as well as at professional conferences for over 20 years; but speaking at conferences seems to affect my misophonia less than when I speak at a higher-ed level. When I speak at conferences, the rooms are large (150-250 people), I present over a microphone (so I usually hear my amplified voice over anything else), and the room is kept dark to help make the PowerPoint slides clearly visible. Occassionally, there'll even be theatrical lights in my eyes, so I don't even see the audience and any visual triggers that might occur. Tomorrow's guest lecturer opportunity is a whole different situation...

Let me preface this by saying there was a time in my life when I thought I'd be a full-time professor and help inspire young designers to become as passionate about lighting design as myself. That feeling is still there every time professors invite me to speak to their classes because it is so exciting to be involved during such an creative time in young designers' lives. Just looking at the advance copy of the final project syllabus for the two classes, I see so much creative opportunities for their designs. It makes me long to be a student again...

Although I do love teaching grad students, the environment is not always conducive for misophonia sufferers like me. The rooms are much smaller (30-40 students), compared to my more recent larger professional conference presenations, and because of that, any triggers (like gum cracking) are much more noticeable to me. It makes me wonder how I'm going to feel or react if someone starts cracking their gum during my presentation. Do I try to wear my less sound muffling earplugs as a preventative measure so I can minimize the impact of triggers but still hear the students if they have questions? Do I stop speaking and ask them to stop cracking their gum if it becomes incessant enough to distract me from my presentation?

I know that I'm thinking about potential triggers when in the end, there may not be any. The last thing I want to happen is for my discomfort with misophonia triggers to become noticeable enough to affect my presentation - not to mention the students' and professor's perception of me. I may not get much sleep tonight (only because it's so late now and I have to get up so early), but hopefully the long drive through farm-country will relax me enough to make tonight's concerns a non-issue tomorrow.

In the year plus that I've read other people's personal misophonia accounts in blogs, articles, and discussion boards, the topic I'm about to talk about is one part of my life where I've experienced misophonia triggers but I have yet to have read anyone else who has shared similar experiences - triggers during worship situations. Now, I know that some topics are taboo (like talking about politics/religion/marriage/children when going out on a date), but I'm hoping that people will see what follows as just an extension of my relaying other trigger encounters I experienced in public, not as my trying to "preach" religion.

Let me preface this by saying I am not religious at all. I have a religion that I (loosely) follow, but usually just on high holidays - where I see it as a time to reconnect with family or have some time to meditate to myself about things happening in my life. Those are the rare times that I make an effort to go to services. Being so far from the rest of my family (1100+ miles), most times if I do wind up remembering to go, I go by myself - not knowing a person there, but at least I'm able to say to my family that I went. Yesterday was the first time I've attended a service since beginning this blog last year, and after thinking about everything I experienced last night... I almost wonder if my sensitivity to misophonia triggers over the years is one of the reasons why the thought of going to a service is never on the forefront of my brain...

Yesterday I arrived just as services were about to begin. I've only been to this place of worship two or three times since moving to the Midwest, and usually I try to sit at the back of the balcony area. (Only once did I ever sit in the main area, and I remember not only sitting towards the front, I even had to move to another location in the first pew because someone was creating a trigger that annoyed me.) I realized while sitting there last night that my choice of that location was another instance of my being proactive to

Last night, I joined one of my coworkers and her husband for BBQ at their place. She is one of the few people at the office who understands my struggles with Misophonia, and is always considerate to ask if a sound might bother me. (Many a time when she and I would coordinate on a project, I'd ask her to stop doing something that was a trigger to me.) So, while the three of us were sitting by the firepit in their backyard, she asked me if the sounds of the crickets that surrounded us  bothered me. I found it an interesting question because one thing I missed from my DC days was going for full-day hikes along the Appalachian Trail or other hikes in the VA/MD/PA area. That was the time I was most relaxed and could put aside any thoughts of my urban/work life.

I thought about her question and really listened to the sounds to which she was referring. They weren't quite crickets, because the sound was continuous, not short bursts. It sounded more like the drone of cicadas. The more I listened, the more I thought to myself that the droning sound was very similar to the sound masking static to which I continuously listen while at work. It was actually a fun revelation for me. No wonder why I find long hikes in the mountains so relaxing. The continuous sounds of mother nature (like those cicadas, the wind rustling leaves, and babbling brooks) become natural masking "noises" to me. 

I guess if I had to associate a "color" with those sounds (since they sounded like the hissing of white noise or brown noise), I'd have to call it "natural."   LOL!   :-)

Working in the architecture industry, I'm pretty used to construction site activity and noise; but every now and then something will surprise me. Today I decided to go to a coffee house to get some more writing work off of my "to do" list, and as I was leaving my apartment, I was surprised to hear the hammering noise on the construction site across the street from my building... On Labor Day! I guess I really shouldn't be surprised though. Construction practices and sound ordinances where I live are very different than what I'm used to experiencing back east. (I won't say that they're like that in the entire Midwest, since I don't

know that for sure, but I do know that the sound ordinances where I live are VERY different from where I used to live.) What I mean by that is that last year, when they started developing the complex across the street from my apartment, I discovered that contractors are allowed to make noise in a residential area as early as 6 a.m., not 7 a.m. like where I lived out east. To make it worse, I discovered that fact the hard way...

My bedroom window overlooks the entrance to the construction site (seen in the above photo). When the contractors were first excavating the site and getting ready to pour the foundations, the tractor-trailers that were bringing in the supplies at 6 a.m. would blast their air-horn to let others around them know that they were entering the site. Of course, since they were backing into the site, guess which way those air-horns were facing... You got it, my bedroom window! I had just gotten used to finally being able to sleep at night without my earplugs (the benefits of living in a very remote area); and then out of nowhere I got the lovely shock of being woken up by air-horns being blasted at 6 a.m. Ugh! That's when I called the non-emergency police number and found that the noise ordinance allowed noise at 6 a.m. Let's just say that air-horns, truck reverse "beeps" and other construction site noises were a frequent occurrence over the next several months, until they started to work on the buildings on the far end of the site.

What's worse is that I'm used to contractors only working on the site during the normal work week (M-F), because contractors didn't want to have to pay their subs overtime for weekend work.  Not where I live... The contractors building the new apartment complex across the street work seven days a week. (Yes, as religious as people are out here, they even are hammering away on Sundays and holidays too!) That is such