I'm sure many of you readers will be taking a break this weekend, so I just wanted to wish everyone well before you head off to your fun Labor Day weekend plans.

This weekend, I'm going to try to play catch-up with many tasks I've been putting off, (e.g. Finishing the letter to amend the police report  from my car accident, working on my memoir, and hashing out some fun ideas I've started to develop to help promote more awareness about misophonia. Once I have them fully
developed, I'll be sure to write about them here.) 

One thing I'm very excited about having recently completed is my copyrighting the logo I designed last year to go with this website. I submitted it to the US Copyright Office before I left for my trip last week and was pleasantly surprised to come home this past Tuesday night to find a letter from the Library of Congress saying that my application to copyright my design was approved. (Yippee! I thought it was going to be weeks before I heard anything back.) I'm including the logo design in this blog post. Hopefully, the design speaks for itself.     :-)

Other than trying to strike off items from my "to do" list this weekend, I hope to unwind and play catch-up with friends, not to mention to pick up my favorite fluffy buddy from the birdie-sitter's (one of my coworker friends). I'm also a little eager to find out about the misophonia fMRI research test that hopefully will be starting soon. I've corresponded with the researcher organizing the study and tried to convince him to not let my being in the United States dissuade him from considering me as a potential candidate. I feel so strongly about trying to help with misophonia research however possible that I told him that I'd deal with the transportation costs myself as long as I'd be given equal consideration  / treatmentt as the other, more local, candidates. I've got my fingers crossed that I'll hear about the possibility of joining the study soon.

It's funny though... I've wanted to do an fMRI scan of my brain during a trigger exposure ever since I had my 3D MRI brain scan back in March, long before I even heard about the official fMRI study being done; yet I hadn't really thought about what it would involve until the past couple of weeks. I've had MRI scans done of my knee after a skiing accident in 2007 and of course I've had the 3D MRI brain scan, so I know that you have to stay REALLY still during those tests to get an accurate scan. I wonder if they might have to strap my hands down or something during the fMRI to prevent me from instinctively putting my fingers in my ears when I hear a trigger during the scan. I know how important research like this is, and I'd do anything to help us get closer to a definitive understanding of what might be happening neurologically during exposure to misophonia triggers. It's just interesting that I'd be gung-ho to deliberately put myself in a situation where I'd be exposed to triggers for a long period of time (I'm assuming) in a confined space, when during "normal" daily life, I'd do anything to get as far away from my triggers as possible. (What am I, a masochist?!?!?!?  LOL!)

Well, I guess if I've put up with it for 30 years, and will likely be putting up with it for another 30+ to come...  It would be an honor to know I can do my part to help us get one step closer to finding relief (if not a cure) from misophonia. In the meantime, I'll keep writing this blog, posting information on this website, and doing whatever I can to help - whether it helps other misophonia sufferers or by bringing more awareness about this condition to the public in general. (I'll be a regular Joanie Appleseed spreading the word on misophonia... My hair is certainly red like an apple!)  LOL!

Happy Labor Day weekend, everyone! Hope yours is trigger-free!

I'm sitting here at my Atlanta layover back to the Midwest and even though I've got a touch of a headache right now, I figured it's a good time to share how the rest of my trip back to my birthplace went. It's funny... So many people were worried about the possibility of the trip being an emotional experience for me, but in actuality, it wasn't.

At first, when I tried to assure my sister (in actuality, my cousin) that it was a pretty "matter of fact" trip for me, I think I was able to describe it better when I spoke to my aunt after having dinner with Don Alhart last night. (He was the anchorman who did the news report on heart attacks that featured my dad three decades ago.)

I told my aunt that although I remember a great deal of my past life there, I didn't have the kind of emotionality about being there that so many people expected me to have. It's so hard to explain, but the only way I could describe it is like thinking about a movie you may have seen thirty years ago. When you first saw the movie back then, the characters/actors may have really moved you, perhaps even to tears; but now thirty years later, you may remember some scenes vividly, but the emotional impact experienced while watching the movie isn't quite as intense - if there's any emotion at all. That's what it was like for me... I remember so many details of events that happened back then but the emotional connection wasn't there anymore. Even when I saw the news report on heart attacks again (when Don Alhart posted it  on YouTube, I didn't even recognize my own father's voice!) 

The only thing I could say to justify why I didn't experience the kinds of emotions that so many people expected from me was because that time period was only one quarter of my entire life - and even then, half of that time I wasn't even old enough to formulate the kinds of emotional memories that people think I should have. (I was only twelve when I left there.)

Be that as it may, there are so many things that have changed about my birth place since having left it so long ago... I don't want to say the adage, "You can never go back..." but so much of that area I honestly couldn't recognize anymore. I went back to the house where I lived and although for the most part it

Okay, maybe that title is a bit of a stretch, but I'll tell you something... There are days when I fell like I have to jump through so many hurdles just to find a place where I'm comfortable eating out at a restaurant.

So, as promised at the end of my last post, I'm trying to play catch-up with posting some of my experiences while visiting where I grew up long ago. I'm staying at a hotel in the downtown portion of the city (which, strangely enough, is an area that I never really frequented when I lived here.) Since breakfast is included in my room package, I come down to the hotel restaurant a lot, and many of the servers have gotten accustomed to seeing me here. I will admit that when I travel, I tend to be very proactive when it comes to achieving sensory comfort in a "strange" (different) environment, almost being hypervigilant to a fault.

The hotel went through some renovations since I last stayed here, the biggest of which was that they relocated the restaurant that was downstairs to a more condensed area on the second floor, so that it could be adjacent to the lobby area. (From what the servers told me, management felt they could make more money using the larger space downstairs for events.)  Unfortunately, that also meant that the end of one leg of the restaurant's "J" shaped space is right next to the busy reception desks. about half of the wall of that leg also held the POS (Point-of-Service) station, where servers input their orders and other prep work. The other leg constists of about 75% bar and grand staircase to the downstairs area. The other 25% is next to the back-of-house area and buffet tables. Needless to say, not many quiet places in that restaurant to have a relaxing meal.

So, at my first breakfast here, I posed my usual request when approaching the hostess to be seated: I asked to be in as quiet a table as possible. She took me to a little two-top (table for two) between the POS station

So, I've been at my birthplace city for the past two days while I wait for my aunt and uncle to arrive tomorrow. The flight over here Wednesday late evening was my typical misophonia travel experience (albeit more condensed since I left work late and had a very short layover... What is it with airlines and 50 minute layovers?) Anyway, even though I didn't have to wait at the gate long at either takeoff point, I did have two trigger experiences that I addressed. First, I heard a guy crack his gum behind me as we were boarding on the first leg. He actually wound up sitting in the seats across from mine; so while we were still boarding, I meekly said to him how I heard him crack his gum at the gate and asked if he could do me a favor and try not to crack it during the flight. I explained that I have a medical condition that makes me very sensitive to sharp noises like that. He was very nice and I didn't hear his gum the entire flight. (Granted, I was playing iPad games during most of that time, but I didn't hear anything during the "No Electronics" time either.)

Once I got to my layover point in Atlanta, I had to book it to my next flight one concourse over. Of course, they had already started boarding by the time I got there; so again, I didn't have to deal with the nervous fidgiting of anxious passengers waiting in the boarding area. Once I got on the plane though, I noticed (through my earplugs) that the two gentlemen sitting in front of me were having a very loud, and energetic conversation. I could feel it in my gut that they'd be talking the entire 2+ hour flight to my final destination. I was sitting in a window seat and noticed that the window seat on the other side of the aisle wasn't occupied yet; so, since the boarding was slowing down to a trickle of people, I gathered my stuff and moved to the other window seat. Just as I was about to sit down, the man who's seat I took boarded the plane. I looked at him and said, "I hope swapping seats was okay with you." He replied that since we both had window seats, he didn't mind. Sure enough, the men in front of my whole seat did gab away the entire flight. Although I was able to hear them even while wearing earplugs in my new location, at least it wasn't as bad as if they were directly in front of me.

I guess you can say that I directly confronted my first trigger experience and fled from my second. I think my response to triggers is usually contingent upon how intense the trigger is, the duration of the trigger, where I am when I'm exposed to the triggers, and how comfortable I feel with asking the triggerer to stop. I think by my thinking about how to respond rather than just exploding on the spot, I'm able to tailor my reaction to the situation. So far... I'd say (with rare exception), the results of my reactions have been pretty successful.

Well, rather than write a tome of a post here, now that I know I do have access to my blog fairly easily, I'll break up my thoughts into a couple of posts (and may even do multiple posts in a day).  Some of the topics to come: An interesting misophonia experience I had during breakfast yesterday morning, meeting up with my father's close friends last night and trying to convey to them how misophonia is affecting my life... Then, after my aunt and uncle arrive tomorrow, I have a feeling that some of my upcoming posts may be about: my uncle and I having a thoughtful discussion about the "Sound Rage" book (him having read it from a therapist's perspective while I read it from a sufferer's perspective), the experience when the three of us visit my parents' graves (my aunt is my father's sister), and then, after my aunt and uncle head back home, Monday I'll be renting a car and exploring some of the places where I grew up followed by having a light dinner meeting with the anchorman who did the news report on my father over thirty years ago. I'm sure there will be lots of experiences to share.

To be continued...

Just a quick  adder to what I wrote last night, because I forgot I wanted to mention it... Yesterday afternoon I glanced down at my cell phone and noticed the alert icon that indicated I just received an incoming email through the "Contact Us" section of this website. When I tried to launch the message from the alert icon, somehow the message disappeared. I don't know if my cell phone is just acting wonky again (it's been alerting me to weeks/months old messages as if they were new ones for a while now), but if you did try sending me a message yesterday, please resend it... I do read all messages and try to respond to them as quickly as I can. The last thing I'd want to happen is to have someone send a message and think I was ignoring it. (I'm seriously considering getting a new smart phone, or at least "gravity testing" this one.)

I also wanted to let all you readers know that tonight I'll be heading out east again this evening to pay my respects to my parents' graves (a visit that's LONG overdue.) Of course, I'm bracing myself for the usual bombardment of triggers at the airport, and it will also be interesting to share my experiences with misophonia to family friends up there who may not understand what I've been going through. I also hope that returning to my birthplace may help me remember my younger years to better understand my past and if/how my misophonia may have played a role back then. Perhaps even speaking with my father's best friends could shed some light on whether he or my mother had any sensitivities too.

I'll do my best to post new blog entries as much as I can while traveling, but wanted to let you all know my plans over the next week in case I have limited internet access while up there.

So, just as a follow-up to my last post... I had my 10-week fitness testing this past Saturday and was pleasantly surprised at the results. I only was able to participate for seven of the ten weeks (mainly because of the car accident, business trip to North Carolina, and my nosebleed incident), but compared to my initial stats: I cut my mile run time down by 1.5 minutes, lost 7.5 pounds, lost 4" around my waist and 2" around my thigh (among other awesome improvements).

The one thing that I was curious to find out was if there would be any impact on my misophonia trigger sensitivities. The reason why I say that is the doctor who originally diagnosed me last year (one of the leading

experts on misophonia), said that one of the studies she was working on at the time, was producing positive indications that exercise could help alleviate some of the symptoms of misophonia. (I haven't looked into the results of her study but now that I think of it... I should probably see if her study was published yet.) At the time when she said that, I thought it sounded like a plausible theory. I hadn't been very good about exercising for quite some time when I met with her, and it seems that many health studies talk about the benefits of exercise on a person's mental and physical well-being. That being said... Even with all my physical improvements (and even mentally - especially having a fun outlet to release stress through kick-boxing) from doing the intense workout over the past ten weeks, my misophonia symptoms haven't improved. Be that as it may, I did renew my membership for the next year, so perhaps a longer duration of this intense exercise program may eventually have some positive effect on lessening my trigger sensitivities. If that does happen, I'll be sure to post any new developments here.

Well, today I finally returned the noise cancelling earphones I bought on the way back from a business trip last month. It's a shame that they didn't block as much sound as I hoped, but I'd rather spend the same amount of money buying three spare sets of what I know already work than keep something I don't use at all. (I honestly didn't use again after hearing the flight attendant's announcement on the plane while wearing them.) Oh well.

This morning I also discovered that not all medications that make you bleary eyed in the morning work at dulling the senses to triggers. Last night, I was having trouble falling asleep so I took one Tylenol PM to help me. Of course, waking up is always fun when I do that, but I noticed today that, unlike what happened when I was on the pain meds after my accident, this morning I was definitely still sensitive to the whistling on TV. (It was really annoying when there were back-to-back commercials with whistling.)

On a happier note... This week is my 10th and final week of my fitness regime. (That is, until next week when I start my one-year renewal.) Yesterday I had my "after" photos, but I also had one of the staff members take photos of me during my workout. Since next week I'm headed up to where I grew up, I plan to meet up with the (now) anchorman who did the three part series report on heart attacks that featured my dad. (I had a little cameo in it too...) I wanted to share the photos with him to show that I'm doing the exact same thing that my father did at the time of the report. I have an idea to see if he'd be interested in doing a follow-up to that report (since so much of what was discussed then is still true to this day). If he thinks it's a good idea, I might even suggest contacting their sister station where I currently live in the Midwest to share the story - with the hope that when comparing my father back then to me right now, I can somehow share what I'm going through with misophonia - like how my father was struggling with heart disease back then. It'll be interesting to hear what the anchorman thinks of my idea. I figure it could be another way to help spread the word about misophonia to the general public. Hopefully, I'll have good news to report in an upcoming blog entry.

This morning, I finalized plans to return to my birthplace to pay my respects to my parents (who passed away when I was really young) and to visit close friends of my father while there. (For those of you who are new readers of this blog, I wrote about what happened in a "Deep Thoughts...." post back in April.) My aunt and I have talked about making the trip back every year for the past several years, but usually my schedule wouldn't allow me to get away. Since the past year has been a big journey for me down "memory lane," especially while trying to write about that part of my life in my misophonia memoir manuscript (try saying that five times fast), I knew I couldn't put off the trip back any longer. I needed to go back, not just because I was long overdue to visit my parents' grave. I feel that immersing myself in that environment again might spark memories of long ago that might bring further insight into how my misophonia developed in those early years. Perhaps I can even learn things about my father from his friends that I might not have seen or understood at such a young age but may somehow be connected to misophonia. (Misophonia is commonly thought to be hereditary, but since my parents died decades before I even knew about the condition, I may never know if either - or both - of them may have had some trigger sensitivities as well.)

The past week, leading up to the decision to finalize my travel plans, has sparked some interesting thoughts about that time in my life... Firstly, while I was writing yesterday's post about this week being the last week of my 10-week fitness regime kickoff (yes, I enjoyed it so much, I renewed for another year), it occurred to me that I am right now at the exact age when the local TV station did their three-part report on heart attacks, which featured my father. (I wrote about it in my 2/24/13 post.) I thought to myself how, other than the fact that I never touched a cigarrette whereas my dad was a two-pack-a-day smoker, I am very much like him when he was my age.  We're both Type "A" personalities with extremely stressful jobs, I'm only a little heavy for my own liking whereas he was quite overweight, he had a major heart condition that loomed over his well-being and my misophonia definitely has affected my way of life too... And yet we both

Yes, today really was an interesting day - not just as it relates to my own misophonia sensitivities, but also in helping to spread more awareness about misophonia. It actually started with my thinking ahead to next week, the final week of my ten-week fitness regime. (I mentioned it in my 6/10/13, 6/13/13, and 6/16/13 posts.) You see... Wednesday we're going to be taking our "after" photos to show how much we've improved. Even though I missed quite a few classes due to the car accident, North Carolina business trip, and last week's nosebleed incident, I still think I've made quite a bit of progress. (A couple of pairs of my work slacks definitely need to be taken in a bit. Yippee!) Sometimes it makes me wonder how much more progress I would've been able to make had those interruptions not happened.

Anyway, I wanted to look my best for the photo, so I decided to get a mani/pedi. (It's amazing how rough kickboxing can be on the hands and feet.) I went downtown and lucked out that the salon I've been to once before had an opening this afternoon. Granted, it was an hour after I made the appointment, so I decided to go to one of the local coffee shops to relax and try to read a bit more into the "Sound-Rage" book. I had never been to this coffee shop before. It was a small, non-chain cafe but I arrived at a perfect time (with relation to my misophonia sensitivities.) I missed the major rush, so it was pretty quiet. The barristas were extremely nice and once I got my drink, I found a perfect booth at the very back of the seating area. It was very isolated and hidden away from view of any of the other tables in the room. None of the other coffee shops I've visited in the area had such a perfect hidden "retreat" where I might be able to work on my manuscript with no distractions (triggers or otherwise).

I was so excited about the isolated booth being a perfect work corner for me, I walked back up to the front and told the barristas how much I enjoyed their cafe environment. As I explained about my sensitivities with sounds and visuals, one of the barristas became very interested in what I'm going through. He not only said that he has similar senstitivities to sounds and even tactile sensations (his discomfort with velvet sounded identical to my discomfort with nylon stockings and some other rough silk/satin fabrics), he also mentioned that one of the other barristas (not in the store at the time) also is sensitive to some of the sounds that occur while working behind the counter. I was excited to tell him more about misophonia and even handed one of my SenseHaven.com "business" cards to the barrista, who then suggested that I put information up on their community bulletin board. (I said I needed to create a more generic/descriptive flyer first though, since not many people would know of the term "misophonia" without a greater explaination of what it is.) The barristas also suggested some times to avoid the crowds there too. I'm very excited to finally have found a place where I not only can start focusing on my manuscript again, but one where I know they'll empathize with my struggles with misophonia triggers.

After going back to my iced tea and "Sound-Rage" book, I went back to the salon for my appointment. Since, I had put earplugs in while at the coffee shop to drown out ANY sounds while trying to read the book, I left them in even when I walked back over to the salon. It was a good thing I did because right when the therapist started my pedicure, I found the bass level of their ambient "techno" music pounded my head. I asked if it might be possible to turn the bass down, but the therapist said that it was the Owner's mix. I commented that I've never been in a spa where the background music was anything but soothing, to which the therapist replied that the spa area in back had more soothing music, but where I was up front (next to the reception desk, not far from their hair styling stations) had different music. The booming became close to unbearable, and I think she could tell that I was very uncomfortable. I searched my entire purse to find my earbuds, figuring I could plug myself into the music on my cell phone, I could drown out the booming with hard rock that I frequently use as "white noise." I was extremely bummed when I realized I must have left my earbuds back at the apartment, but the therapist was so nice... She offered me a pair that they had.  I was so desperate to stop the booming base, I was extremely grateful for her offer, even if I was a little embarrassed too because I felt like I was being rude. Normally I like to chat with the therapist during my mani/pedis, but there was no way that was possible as long as they played that techno music with the intense bass. (I couldn't even remember if that was they type of music they played last time I was there.)

After I was finished, she handed me a punch-card where if you get nine manis or pedis, the tenth one is free. I have to admit, I'm going to have to really think if I'll even be able to take advantage of it. She did an amazing job, as did the woman who did my last manicure there, but I don't think I'd be able to tolerate another barrage of techno music. When I go to have a mani/pedi or other spa treatment, I go to relax too. The atmosphere today definitely was not relaxing today. Something I'm definitely going to have to have in the back of my mind for the future.

Boy, has it really been tough getting back into the swing of things after last week. Thank goodness that I've finally finished some deadlines at work. Hopefully, the lessening of project related stress can help get things steadily back to normal. I really am trying to get back into the swing of posting blog entries more frequently - with new discoveries and deep thoughts that I continue to make on my quest for misophonia relief. One endeavor that I'm pursuing is the possibility of getting a "green light" to participate in a fMRI study on misophonia (I've got my fingers crossed that I'll hear soon).

I'm also still trying to find brief moments here and there to read "Sound Rage" and work on my own memoir. (It's getting there, slowly but surely.) I'm really enjoying what I've read in "Sound Rage" so far and can completely relate to so many of the examples. A lot of what the author wrote really resonates with me, almost like I'm reading my own voice. I still haven't gotten to the more scientific parts of the book yet. I did send a copy of the book to my uncle, who is a clinical social worker, to see what he thought. He and I have had MANY thoughtful discussions about misophonia since I first heard about the term last year. Since he's a professional therapist, I figured he might be interested in reading a more scientific book from an outside perspective than my own. (My family has only been learning about misophonia from my perspective, mainly since my aunt and uncle aren't major web-surfers like I am.) From what my aunt told me, he hasn't been able to put the book down since he got it a couple of weeks ago. (He's read it multiple times - which is typical when he really gets into a book like that.) I hope to at least read it through once by this weekend, so that I can start taking our conversations to another level.

On another note... Normally, I try to be good (and prompt) about posting information about research, articles, and other helpful information that I find to share with everyone, but given the events of last week, I haven't been doing much work on the computer besides work-work. So, here are some updates... I received an email from someone wanting to form a local misophonia support group in Southeast Michigan. If anyone is interested, send me a message via the "Contact Us" page and I'll forward the email to you. (You might be able to also go to MeetUp.com and search for the UK Misophonia group - which has posts from people here in the states looking to start local groups here.)

I also missed an opportunity to announce another webinar presented by Thomas Dozier this past Tuesday entitled "Overcoming Misophonia - Theory and Practice." Well, the techie gremlins must've felt bad that I couldn't share that information with my SenseHaven.com readers because I just received an email from Thomas saying that since he wasn't able to record Tuesday's webinar, so he's presenting it again tomorrow. For those of you who may be interested, I've included the message from the email below. (Please note:
I haven't seen the program, so I'm not able to comment about the content or the quality of the presentation. I'm just forwarding along information about how to attend the Webinar - should anyone wish to do so.)


Are you Interested in Misophonia?

Thomas Dozier invites you to attend a  Web seminar using WebEx. This event requires registration.

Topic:  Overcoming Misophonia - Theory and  Practice
Description: Tom Dozier will  explain his theory of misophonia and how he successfully treats this condition.  This webinar will cover

1. Results of the Dozier Method for the first 13  patients
2. Survey results: How common is misophonia and when it starts
3. What is happening in your brain and body when you hear a trigger (and supporting  research)
4. How to explain misophonia so others will understand
5. Your  best options when hearing a trigger (and why)
6. How to prevent acquiring new  triggers
7. What you can do to reduce the overall severity of triggers
8. How to rewire your brain to eliminate a trigger

Host: Thomas  Dozier
Date and Time:
Thursday, August 8, 2013 9:00 am, Pacific Daylight  Time (San Francisco, GMT-07:00)
Thursday, August 8, 2013 12:00 pm, Eastern  Daylight Time (New York, GMT-04:00)
Thursday, August 8, 2013 5:00 pm, GMT  Summer Time  (London, GMT+01:00)

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To register for the online event
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1. Go to
https://3lparenting.webex.com/3lparenting/onstage/g.php?d=669281455&t=a&EA=emlyn%40sensehaven.com&ET=63ab76e0fa88e2e3ae204fc1568e15e4&ETR=9be33506907c31e7460d3d6592e32ae9&RT=MiM0&p
2.  Click "Register".
3. On the registration form, enter your information and  then click "Submit".

Once the host approves your registration, you will  receive a confirmation email message with instructions on how to join the  event.

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For  assistance, you can  contact Thomas Dozier at:
[email protected]

http://www.webex.com

IMPORTANT  NOTICE: This WebEx  service includes a feature that allows audio and any documents and other  materials exchanged or viewed during the session to be recorded. By joining this  session, you automatically consent to such recordings. If you do not consent to  the recording, discuss your concerns with the meeting host prior to the start of  the recording or do not join the session. Please note that any such recordings  may be subject to discovery in the event of litigation.