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The "Butterfly's Whisper" Blog

Welcome to my blog. I hope by sharing my own misophonia experiences, others who are frustrated with misophonia sensitivities will discover that they're not alone. I also hope that people who may not have misophonia will gain some insight about what it's like to have this condition.

Please feel free to post any comments or use the "Contact Us" page if you have any questions/comments you don't want to post online.

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A major misophonia revelation

5/25/2014

8 Comments

 
Happy Memorial Day Weekend, everyone. Hope it's been a relaxing one for you so far...

Relaxation is the theme of today's post because this morning I made some interesting revelations about myself, with the help of a new therapist who I'm seeing to help me learn how to better cope with my misophonia. (Yes, believe it or not he and some of his colleagues do see people on weekends. I was quite impressed that he offered to meet me on a Sunday. He said he usually comes in to catch up with his admin stuff.) Although I wasn't surprised by many of the things we discussed, it certainly brought new light to my experiences over the years... Particularly how increased stress throughout my life may be one of the main reasons why my misophonia symptoms significantly increased over the years.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I was looking into different therapists who might have some experiences dealing with conditions that are similar to misophonia - such as those that involve anxiety or neurological conditions. This particular therapist's bio was the one that referred to working with PTSD patients and having experience with Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). I initially called him to learn more about REBT, to see what it was all about and to discuss whether it might be an potential therapy for my misophonia. When he returned my call, I was taken aback by how interested he was with my
condition and even seemed eager to learn more about it. I've never met a provider before who was that interested in wanting to help me address my misophonia, so I met with him the next day.

When we met, we discussed how misophonia has affected my life: what goes on in my mind when I hear a trigger and how I react. He asked me if my triggers are mainly caused by people or do inanimate objects (like metronomes and clocks) trigger me as well. One of the "homework" assignments he gave me before we met today was to go to YouTube and look at some of the "Mindfulness" videos by Jon Kabat-Zinn. So, while in a coffee shop trying to position myself to avoid being distracted by a hyper-active kid running around the place, I did...

I didn't go right to the actual meditation segments though... I first went to a panel session video called "Jon Kabat-Zinn Defines Mindfulness." (I figured, I should learn what it is before trying to actually do it. It was fascinating and really hit home when he said, "Thinking too much causes stress, which leads to inability to sleep..." That describes me to a "T." I then went on to watch another video, from a Wisdom 2 conference that's entitled, "Applied Mindfulness in Business and Life: Jon Kabat-Zinn, Melissa Daimier." Not only did it teach me more about mindfulness, he used a musical analogy that also struck a chord with me (pun intended) when he talked about how, "Meditation is tuning the instrument... " and how "...multi-tasking is an unfortunate habit that could be fatal..." How those words rang true to me! for nearly fifteen years, multi-tasking has been an insane way of life for me - particularly in the workplace where some of my most recent employers felt that the best way to save money for the company was for people to wear MANY hats, instead of just the one that they were hired to do. (That is a whole blog entry onto itself!)

Anyway, when I discussed the YouTube segments with the therapist today, we talked a lot about stress in a person's life. We had already started to discuss this on Thursday, when he mentioned that stress increases a person's sensitivity, but those YouTube videos took our discussion to a whole other level...
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One of the things the therapist did was to draw a graph on a whiteboard in his office where he charted the amount of stress over time. (See chart to the left. He definitely appealed to the designer and mathematician in me.) The green line was the first one he drew, and showed what happens to the intensity of stress when it keeps growing over time with no relief. The orange line shows what happens when a person periodically takes a break to de-stress (through mindfulness, meditation, or other methods). As time goes on, for the person who takes the time to de-stress, the stress intensity isn't as severe as the person who lets the stress keep building up. Since graduation, when I finally entered the workforce full time, my life has been one long green line. It wasn't as bad at the beginning, since I was a junior designer and didn't have as many responsibilities, but as I went from one employer to the next, the responsibilities kept growing - particularly when I had more of a leadership role in the firm. I spent less time doing fun extra-curriculars (like singing, theater tech work, and playing sports) because there was too many deadlines to meet and too many other managerial tasks were on my plate with no junior people under me to whom I could delegate any of the design/drafting work that needed to be done. I rarely took vacations, because I was the only one in the office with the knowledge to do the tasks that were on my shoulders, and even time home with family was anything but relaxing. Being the geek and the youngest sibling in the family meant that any computer or technical issues that my family had (particularly my parents) wouldn't get done until I got home. If I wasn't fixing computers, modems, or other techie gadgets, I was running around doing errands for my family. I was constantly putting everyone else's needs before my own and I'm now realizing that it has taken on a bigger toll on my well-being than I ever imagined.

In the nearly two years that I've known about misophonia, I've spent a lot of time looking back at my life and reanalyzing situations where I might have been experiencing misophonia. Although I can think of instances of misophonia going back to before my biological parents passed away, my symptoms didn't really get severe until the stress in my life skyrocketed when I finally entered the "real world." In school, I always had multiple extra-curricular outlets to drop my stress levels and have fun. I now know that, wherever I go next, I'm seriously going to have to get those extra-curriculars back in my life - whether singing in a choral group, going on day hikes throughout the year, or even getting back into theater again, regardless of if I'm on-stage or behind the scenes. I've got to take control of my stress and not let it dominate my life, otherwise I'll never get a handle of my misophonia.

8 Comments
Bonnie link
5/25/2014 11:35:38 pm

So glad you are discovering ways to keep your Misophonia in check. I'd like to recommend a book that I think you'd enjoy. I've been reading "Hardwiring Happiness" that uses mindfulness and focusing on positive experiences to help "rewire" the brain. This book is written by Rick Hanson, a Neuropsychologist.

http://www.rickhanson.net/books/hardwiring-happiness

Reply
Emlyn link
5/29/2014 02:47:09 am

Thanks, Bonnie. I'll definitely have to check it out!

It's been challenging doing the exercises, but I guess practice makes perfect. It'll be interesting to see how beneficial it'll be in helping me cope with misophonia.

Reply
Judy Krauthamer
5/27/2014 04:30:52 am

Mindfulness is a simply, albeit not easy, practice. I believe it can and will be a very effective tool for misophonia.

Reply
Emlyn link
5/29/2014 02:50:39 am

You're right. I've been having a tough time staying focused during the video exercises, but I do know that I've been enjoying doing them.

It's been so long for me not to be in a stressed state of mind, I'm sure it will take me a while to get the hang of it, but I won't give up. I now know that stress in my life has been a real problem for me. That's got to change!

Reply
Gail
6/3/2014 08:24:46 pm

Emlyn, Your recent post was awesome and your website, amazing. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I have found it extremely helpful as I navigate Miso for my daughter. *** Gail

Reply
Emlyn link
6/8/2014 01:07:36 pm

Thanks, Gail! I'm glad SenseHaven has been helpful for you and your daughter. I appreciate your feedback!

Reply
Tanja Injac
12/28/2014 03:23:00 am

Hi,

Very interesting observation that you made about multi-tasking and stress. Interesting and completely true. I need to look into that aspect of my life myself.

As for mindfulness, I've been advised by Psychologyst to learn how to relax first, then use mindfulness. Videos on Progressive Muscle Relaxation have improved my responses immensely, but I've been using them every day for 3 weeks now.

Good luck,
Tanja

Reply
Emlyn link
12/31/2014 01:08:10 pm

Thanks, Tanja! I'll have to check out those videos. Maybe they'll get me back on track with my mindfulness practicing.

Best wishes for a happy (and trigger-free) new year!

-Emlyn

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    About the Author

    Emlyn Altman has been suffering with misophonia for over 40 years, even though she only found out about the actual medical condition much more recently. As frustrating as the condition has been over the years, her heightened sensitivities across all the senses considerably influenced her talents within the visual fine arts (particularly sculpture), music (singing, piano, and many other instruments), writing, and culinary backgrounds, as well as professional achievements as an architectural lighting designer. Her goal in developing this website is to promote more awareness about misophonia and help other sufferers as well.


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