Happy Memorial Day Weekend, everyone. Hope it's been a relaxing one for you so far...
Relaxation is the theme of today's post because this morning I made some interesting revelations about myself, with the help of a new therapist who I'm seeing to help me learn how to better cope with my misophonia. (Yes, believe it or not he and some of his colleagues do see people on weekends. I was quite impressed that he offered to meet me on a Sunday. He said he usually comes in to catch up with his admin stuff.) Although I wasn't surprised by many of the things we discussed, it certainly brought new light to my experiences over the years... Particularly how increased stress throughout my life may be one of the main reasons why my misophonia symptoms significantly increased over the years.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I was looking into different therapists who might have some experiences dealing with conditions that are similar to misophonia - such as those that involve anxiety or neurological conditions. This particular therapist's bio was the one that referred to working with PTSD patients and having experience with Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). I initially called him to learn more about REBT, to see what it was all about and to discuss whether it might be an potential therapy for my misophonia. When he returned my call, I was taken aback by how interested he was with my
Relaxation is the theme of today's post because this morning I made some interesting revelations about myself, with the help of a new therapist who I'm seeing to help me learn how to better cope with my misophonia. (Yes, believe it or not he and some of his colleagues do see people on weekends. I was quite impressed that he offered to meet me on a Sunday. He said he usually comes in to catch up with his admin stuff.) Although I wasn't surprised by many of the things we discussed, it certainly brought new light to my experiences over the years... Particularly how increased stress throughout my life may be one of the main reasons why my misophonia symptoms significantly increased over the years.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I was looking into different therapists who might have some experiences dealing with conditions that are similar to misophonia - such as those that involve anxiety or neurological conditions. This particular therapist's bio was the one that referred to working with PTSD patients and having experience with Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). I initially called him to learn more about REBT, to see what it was all about and to discuss whether it might be an potential therapy for my misophonia. When he returned my call, I was taken aback by how interested he was with my
condition and even seemed eager to learn more about it. I've never met a provider before who was that interested in wanting to help me address my misophonia, so I met with him the next day.
When we met, we discussed how misophonia has affected my life: what goes on in my mind when I hear a trigger and how I react. He asked me if my triggers are mainly caused by people or do inanimate objects (like metronomes and clocks) trigger me as well. One of the "homework" assignments he gave me before we met today was to go to YouTube and look at some of the "Mindfulness" videos by Jon Kabat-Zinn. So, while in a coffee shop trying to position myself to avoid being distracted by a hyper-active kid running around the place, I did...
I didn't go right to the actual meditation segments though... I first went to a panel session video called "Jon Kabat-Zinn Defines Mindfulness." (I figured, I should learn what it is before trying to actually do it. It was fascinating and really hit home when he said, "Thinking too much causes stress, which leads to inability to sleep..." That describes me to a "T." I then went on to watch another video, from a Wisdom 2 conference that's entitled, "Applied Mindfulness in Business and Life: Jon Kabat-Zinn, Melissa Daimier." Not only did it teach me more about mindfulness, he used a musical analogy that also struck a chord with me (pun intended) when he talked about how, "Meditation is tuning the instrument... " and how "...multi-tasking is an unfortunate habit that could be fatal..." How those words rang true to me! for nearly fifteen years, multi-tasking has been an insane way of life for me - particularly in the workplace where some of my most recent employers felt that the best way to save money for the company was for people to wear MANY hats, instead of just the one that they were hired to do. (That is a whole blog entry onto itself!)
Anyway, when I discussed the YouTube segments with the therapist today, we talked a lot about stress in a person's life. We had already started to discuss this on Thursday, when he mentioned that stress increases a person's sensitivity, but those YouTube videos took our discussion to a whole other level...
When we met, we discussed how misophonia has affected my life: what goes on in my mind when I hear a trigger and how I react. He asked me if my triggers are mainly caused by people or do inanimate objects (like metronomes and clocks) trigger me as well. One of the "homework" assignments he gave me before we met today was to go to YouTube and look at some of the "Mindfulness" videos by Jon Kabat-Zinn. So, while in a coffee shop trying to position myself to avoid being distracted by a hyper-active kid running around the place, I did...
I didn't go right to the actual meditation segments though... I first went to a panel session video called "Jon Kabat-Zinn Defines Mindfulness." (I figured, I should learn what it is before trying to actually do it. It was fascinating and really hit home when he said, "Thinking too much causes stress, which leads to inability to sleep..." That describes me to a "T." I then went on to watch another video, from a Wisdom 2 conference that's entitled, "Applied Mindfulness in Business and Life: Jon Kabat-Zinn, Melissa Daimier." Not only did it teach me more about mindfulness, he used a musical analogy that also struck a chord with me (pun intended) when he talked about how, "Meditation is tuning the instrument... " and how "...multi-tasking is an unfortunate habit that could be fatal..." How those words rang true to me! for nearly fifteen years, multi-tasking has been an insane way of life for me - particularly in the workplace where some of my most recent employers felt that the best way to save money for the company was for people to wear MANY hats, instead of just the one that they were hired to do. (That is a whole blog entry onto itself!)
Anyway, when I discussed the YouTube segments with the therapist today, we talked a lot about stress in a person's life. We had already started to discuss this on Thursday, when he mentioned that stress increases a person's sensitivity, but those YouTube videos took our discussion to a whole other level...
One of the things the therapist did was to draw a graph on a whiteboard in his office where he charted the amount of stress over time. (See chart to the left. He definitely appealed to the designer and mathematician in me.) The green line was the first one he drew, and showed what happens to the intensity of stress when it keeps growing over time with no relief. The orange line shows what happens when a person periodically takes a break to de-stress (through mindfulness, meditation, or other methods). As time goes on, for the person who takes the time to de-stress, the stress intensity isn't as severe as the person who lets the stress keep building up. Since graduation, when I finally entered the workforce full time, my life has been one long green line. It wasn't as bad at the beginning, since I was a junior designer and didn't have as many responsibilities, but as I went from one employer to the next, the responsibilities kept growing - particularly when I had more of a leadership role in the firm. I spent less time doing fun extra-curriculars (like singing, theater tech work, and playing sports) because there was too many deadlines to meet and too many other managerial tasks were on my plate with no junior people under me to whom I could delegate any of the design/drafting work that needed to be done. I rarely took vacations, because I was the only one in the office with the knowledge to do the tasks that were on my shoulders, and even time home with family was anything but relaxing. Being the geek and the youngest sibling in the family meant that any computer or technical issues that my family had (particularly my parents) wouldn't get done until I got home. If I wasn't fixing computers, modems, or other techie gadgets, I was running around doing errands for my family. I was constantly putting everyone else's needs before my own and I'm now realizing that it has taken on a bigger toll on my well-being than I ever imagined.
In the nearly two years that I've known about misophonia, I've spent a lot of time looking back at my life and reanalyzing situations where I might have been experiencing misophonia. Although I can think of instances of misophonia going back to before my biological parents passed away, my symptoms didn't really get severe until the stress in my life skyrocketed when I finally entered the "real world." In school, I always had multiple extra-curricular outlets to drop my stress levels and have fun. I now know that, wherever I go next, I'm seriously going to have to get those extra-curriculars back in my life - whether singing in a choral group, going on day hikes throughout the year, or even getting back into theater again, regardless of if I'm on-stage or behind the scenes. I've got to take control of my stress and not let it dominate my life, otherwise I'll never get a handle of my misophonia.
In the nearly two years that I've known about misophonia, I've spent a lot of time looking back at my life and reanalyzing situations where I might have been experiencing misophonia. Although I can think of instances of misophonia going back to before my biological parents passed away, my symptoms didn't really get severe until the stress in my life skyrocketed when I finally entered the "real world." In school, I always had multiple extra-curricular outlets to drop my stress levels and have fun. I now know that, wherever I go next, I'm seriously going to have to get those extra-curriculars back in my life - whether singing in a choral group, going on day hikes throughout the year, or even getting back into theater again, regardless of if I'm on-stage or behind the scenes. I've got to take control of my stress and not let it dominate my life, otherwise I'll never get a handle of my misophonia.
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