Sense Haven: A Site Dedicated to Misophonia
  • Home
  • Triggers
  • Resources
    • General Information
    • Scientific Research
    • Non-Scientific Articles
    • Video and Audio Clips
    • Articles Focused on School-Aged Children
    • Other Misophonia Websites/Blogs
  • Coping Tools
  • Support Venues
  • Blog
  • Past Polls
  • Contact

The "Butterfly's Whisper" Blog

Welcome to my blog. I hope by sharing my own misophonia experiences, others who are frustrated with misophonia sensitivities will discover that they're not alone. I also hope that people who may not have misophonia will gain some insight about what it's like to have this condition.

Please feel free to post any comments or use the "Contact Us" page if you have any questions/comments you don't want to post online.

Contact ME

A (not so) quiet office day

12/26/2013

3 Comments

 
Typically, I enjoy going into the office the days between Christmas and New Year's. So many of my coworkers are away on vacation that it is usually the most quiet and productive time of the year at the office for me. Unfortunately, today was far from the norm.

I don't mean that people didn't go on vacation. If there was twenty people in the office (out of close to a hundred), that was a lot! Unfortunately, later this afternoon I went to my project manager's desk to  coordinate with him on a major project. We spent nearly two hours going room by room, discussing architectural details and conflicts that needed to be worked out and from the moment we started, halfway across the room I could hear one of the principals whistling VERY loudly while in the printing area. I am not exaggerating when I say he was whistling loud. I put in my best earplugs at the first hint of him whistling, at times I couldn't even hear my project manager sitting next to me, yet I could hear the principal's whistle loud and clear fifty feet away. It was REALLY getting on my nerves and considering I am 99% certain that it was that particular principal who gave me a scathing, biased, and inaccurate performance review, a part of me kept feeling like he was deliberately doing it to dig that dagger into my body even further.

To be clear, this is the same principal that I've posted about multiple times who whistles while reading a menu every time we'd be on a business trip and he'd sit across from me during our team dinners (along with other occasions such as while the team prepped for team meetings). He knows about my misophonia, I've discussed it with him on more than one occasion, and yet here I was having to put my fingers on top of my earplugs to stop him from making me feel like I had two ice-picks boring through my ears. AAargh!!! I was so grateful when we finished our meeting so I could escape back to my desk. (Unfortunately, we're having a follow-up meeting tomorrow afternoon. I hope to heaven that the principal decides to take tomorrow off, or at least leave early!)

On a happier note though, as a follow-up to yesterday's post: I got an email back from the moderator of the misophonia.com website. He put the full letter of positive misophonia thoughts and helpful holiday suggestions on the website. (Thanks Richard!!!)  I highly recommend reading it, especially if this time of the year seems to get that much more stressful for you.

Wow! It just hit me. Is it really less than six days until 2014?!?!?!?
3 Comments
Jim
12/28/2013 04:34:23 am

Is there a reason you have to stay with this particular company? It sounds absolutely miserable.

Given how misophonia acts in similar ways to PTSD, how do you do your best work now that your brain is focused in on this jerk?

I don't know if you ever read the books or saw the Harry Potter movies, but life in an office becomes a little like that map where you constantly have to know where every jerk is located.

Since a scathing performance review usually indicates they're preparing to fire you, maybe it's time to write a formal letter explaining your disability and how the principal's actions contribute to a hostile work environment. At the very least, you can refuse to eat with him in the future.

Reply
Emlyn
12/28/2013 09:41:02 am

Hi, Jim. Thanks for the concern.

The firm itself is not entirely bad. The people are creative and (for the most part) friendly, the projects are diverse, the general mentality in the industry out here is a little less egotistic than back east (people actually work together to solve problems instead of pointing fingers to find scapegoats), and the firm is doing its best to help accommodate my misophonia needs. It's just that one particular principal has probably the strongest personality in the firm. He's a big talker who only hears what he wants to hear and somehow keeps setting me up to fail. (Actually, considering for over a year and a half I've been asking the firm for additional dedicated lighting staff to help with my workload and never receive any responses, I think that's where the firm itself is failing me the most.) At least my direct supervisor is understanding of my situation and tries to help me address the project overload problem (which is something our entire department is suffering). For now, I'm just trying to move forward and improve upon the situation as best I can.

I've never actually read any of the Harry Potter books, but your analogy is a good one. I know exactly what you're describing. The movies did an excellent job portraying that special map. (Love the little walking footprints.) I do find myself avoiding the whistling principal (as well as the one who presented the review comments) as much as I can since the salary/bonus meeting, but I won’t let it interfere with my work or coordinating with my teammates. It just occasionally means that I'll take a detour if I think our paths may cross while I'm going to see a teammate.

Yes, although it's been difficult to do my best work after being blindsided at that meeting, especially when I've been busting my butt doing the same amount of work that the team of my three predecessors were overwhelmed to do (sometimes having to even address problems in their past projects), keeping busy working on my projects helps to keep my mind off of the scathing review (somewhat). Yes, I know I'm a workaholic and unfortunately, since I'm so specialized in my industry, companies tend to take advantage of that. One thing that my misophonia is helping me do is that I’m trying to be more mindful of my own needs and attempting to get a better work/life balance. It'll take me a while, but I am slowly learning to take better care of myself, especially in the workplace.

I did come to the same conclusion as you with regard to the reasoning for the scathing review comments. I’ve already written a first pass at a rebuttal letter – but its purpose is to present my accomplishments and strengths from this year that were not acknowledged in the review, as well as to dispute the inaccurate statements in the review using supporting written evidence - not bring my condition into the mix.

As far as not eating dinner with that principal on future business trips, if I am put in that position again, I may find myself with migraines that I need to sleep off... LOL! ( JK)

Reply
Jim Taylor link
8/28/2021 10:11:17 am

Appreciate this bblog post

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Want to know when a new blog entry is posted, then click the RSS Feed button below to sign up for the "Butterfly's Whisper" update notifications.

    RSS Feed

    Picture

    About the Author

    Emlyn Altman has been suffering with misophonia for over 40 years, even though she only found out about the actual medical condition much more recently. As frustrating as the condition has been over the years, her heightened sensitivities across all the senses considerably influenced her talents within the visual fine arts (particularly sculpture), music (singing, piano, and many other instruments), writing, and culinary backgrounds, as well as professional achievements as an architectural lighting designer. Her goal in developing this website is to promote more awareness about misophonia and help other sufferers as well.


    Archives

    October 2021
    January 2019
    March 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012

Copyright © 2021 Emlyn G. Altman