So, this weekend has been filled with reflection and revalations. Many of my thoughts have been inspired from attending the writers' conference a couple of weeks ago, so much so that yesterday morning my body woke me up at 3:30 a.m. and wouldn't let me go back to bed until I jotted down my bleary eyed thoughts that could work well with my book. (So many memories of past events that I hadn't thought about in years.) It reminded me of when I had my regular column in a professional magazine and needed to keep a pad of paper and a pen with an illuminated tip on my nightstand for all the ideas that would pop into my head as I was either falling asleep or just waking up. I knew if I didn't write them down the moment I thought of them, I wouldn't remember them later.
One of the things that has been on my mind a lot lately is related to my 12/15/12 post that recounted my experience at the Mayo Clinic. Last week I not only received my bill and a letter requesting my permission to use my records for future studies, I also received a copy of the doctor's report from that visit. What I found very interesting was that even though he told me that the reason he was referring me to see a psychiatrist, instead of viewing misophonia as a neurologic issue, was because he thought my symptoms were situational, he never mentioned that specific reason for the referral in the report. (As per my earlier blog post, the reason why he thought my misophonia was situational was because when he asked me whether I was annoyed by triggers I created, I said I didn't think so.) Upon further reflection on the way home that day, it occured to me that I may be more annoyed by my own trigger actions than I indicated. I may not have realized they bothered me because I may subconsiously stop the triggers as soon as I do them - or prevent myself from doing them at all.
This weekend I realized one perfect example of that "protecting myself" from triggers was something I may have been doing subconciously for nearly two decades. One of my triggers is the sound of silverware clanking on chinaware. Well, even though I've had two very nice sets of china since my grad school years, whenever I make a meal for myself, I *always* gravitate to my tupperware dishes and plastic utentils (that is, unless I have company over). This is not a once in a blue moon thing. If it gives you any idea how often I use my plasticware over my chinaware, my cockatiel even imitates the sound of plastic scraping against plastic. (It's actually kinda cute...) I kind of wonder if I had answered to the doctor's question that my own triggers *DO* bother me, perhaps my Mayo visit might have had a different outcome...
One of the things that has been on my mind a lot lately is related to my 12/15/12 post that recounted my experience at the Mayo Clinic. Last week I not only received my bill and a letter requesting my permission to use my records for future studies, I also received a copy of the doctor's report from that visit. What I found very interesting was that even though he told me that the reason he was referring me to see a psychiatrist, instead of viewing misophonia as a neurologic issue, was because he thought my symptoms were situational, he never mentioned that specific reason for the referral in the report. (As per my earlier blog post, the reason why he thought my misophonia was situational was because when he asked me whether I was annoyed by triggers I created, I said I didn't think so.) Upon further reflection on the way home that day, it occured to me that I may be more annoyed by my own trigger actions than I indicated. I may not have realized they bothered me because I may subconsiously stop the triggers as soon as I do them - or prevent myself from doing them at all.
This weekend I realized one perfect example of that "protecting myself" from triggers was something I may have been doing subconciously for nearly two decades. One of my triggers is the sound of silverware clanking on chinaware. Well, even though I've had two very nice sets of china since my grad school years, whenever I make a meal for myself, I *always* gravitate to my tupperware dishes and plastic utentils (that is, unless I have company over). This is not a once in a blue moon thing. If it gives you any idea how often I use my plasticware over my chinaware, my cockatiel even imitates the sound of plastic scraping against plastic. (It's actually kinda cute...) I kind of wonder if I had answered to the doctor's question that my own triggers *DO* bother me, perhaps my Mayo visit might have had a different outcome...
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