Tomorrow I get a little change of pace from my usual Wednesday at the office: I was asked to be a guest lecturer for two graduate school classes at a prominent local university. Even though I've got a long 2+ hour drive ahead of me (meaning I have to leave at 6 a.m. to give me enough time to get there and set-up for their 9 a.m. class - and getting up early has been extremely difficult ever since I was on pain killers after my car accident), that isn't what's on my mind right now... This is the first time I've taught in a university setting since being diagnosed with misophonia last year and, strangely enough, my thoughts are more focused on how I'm going to feel or react if any of the students are chewing gum during my presentation.
Mind you, I've spoken at a college/university level as well as at professional conferences for over 20 years; but speaking at conferences seems to affect my misophonia less than when I speak at a higher-ed level. When I speak at conferences, the rooms are large (150-250 people), I present over a microphone (so I usually hear my amplified voice over anything else), and the room is kept dark to help make the PowerPoint slides clearly visible. Occassionally, there'll even be theatrical lights in my eyes, so I don't even see the audience and any visual triggers that might occur. Tomorrow's guest lecturer opportunity is a whole different situation...
Let me preface this by saying there was a time in my life when I thought I'd be a full-time professor and help inspire young designers to become as passionate about lighting design as myself. That feeling is still there every time professors invite me to speak to their classes because it is so exciting to be involved during such an creative time in young designers' lives. Just looking at the advance copy of the final project syllabus for the two classes, I see so much creative opportunities for their designs. It makes me long to be a student again...
Although I do love teaching grad students, the environment is not always conducive for misophonia sufferers like me. The rooms are much smaller (30-40 students), compared to my more recent larger professional conference presenations, and because of that, any triggers (like gum cracking) are much more noticeable to me. It makes me wonder how I'm going to feel or react if someone starts cracking their gum during my presentation. Do I try to wear my less sound muffling earplugs as a preventative measure so I can minimize the impact of triggers but still hear the students if they have questions? Do I stop speaking and ask them to stop cracking their gum if it becomes incessant enough to distract me from my presentation?
I know that I'm thinking about potential triggers when in the end, there may not be any. The last thing I want to happen is for my discomfort with misophonia triggers to become noticeable enough to affect my presentation - not to mention the students' and professor's perception of me. I may not get much sleep tonight (only because it's so late now and I have to get up so early), but hopefully the long drive through farm-country will relax me enough to make tonight's concerns a non-issue tomorrow.
Mind you, I've spoken at a college/university level as well as at professional conferences for over 20 years; but speaking at conferences seems to affect my misophonia less than when I speak at a higher-ed level. When I speak at conferences, the rooms are large (150-250 people), I present over a microphone (so I usually hear my amplified voice over anything else), and the room is kept dark to help make the PowerPoint slides clearly visible. Occassionally, there'll even be theatrical lights in my eyes, so I don't even see the audience and any visual triggers that might occur. Tomorrow's guest lecturer opportunity is a whole different situation...
Let me preface this by saying there was a time in my life when I thought I'd be a full-time professor and help inspire young designers to become as passionate about lighting design as myself. That feeling is still there every time professors invite me to speak to their classes because it is so exciting to be involved during such an creative time in young designers' lives. Just looking at the advance copy of the final project syllabus for the two classes, I see so much creative opportunities for their designs. It makes me long to be a student again...
Although I do love teaching grad students, the environment is not always conducive for misophonia sufferers like me. The rooms are much smaller (30-40 students), compared to my more recent larger professional conference presenations, and because of that, any triggers (like gum cracking) are much more noticeable to me. It makes me wonder how I'm going to feel or react if someone starts cracking their gum during my presentation. Do I try to wear my less sound muffling earplugs as a preventative measure so I can minimize the impact of triggers but still hear the students if they have questions? Do I stop speaking and ask them to stop cracking their gum if it becomes incessant enough to distract me from my presentation?
I know that I'm thinking about potential triggers when in the end, there may not be any. The last thing I want to happen is for my discomfort with misophonia triggers to become noticeable enough to affect my presentation - not to mention the students' and professor's perception of me. I may not get much sleep tonight (only because it's so late now and I have to get up so early), but hopefully the long drive through farm-country will relax me enough to make tonight's concerns a non-issue tomorrow.
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