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The "Butterfly's Whisper" Blog

Welcome to my blog. I hope by sharing my own misophonia experiences, others who are frustrated with misophonia sensitivities will discover that they're not alone. I also hope that people who may not have misophonia will gain some insight about what it's like to have this condition.

Please feel free to post any comments or use the "Contact Us" page if you have any questions/comments you don't want to post online.

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Where does the time fly?!?!?

10/18/2014

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Wow. I can't believe how long it's been since I've written a post. (I apologize for that!) So much going on and it's been tough being able to post because I haven't set up my computer yet at home. (I had been without a dining room table for nearly three weeks and I donated my desk to the Salvation Army before leaving the Midwest.) Essentially my usable furniture has only been a barca lounger and an inflateable bed. Which leads me to one of my updates...

I had been looking forward to today because after over two months of sleeping on an inflateable bed (which has really taken a toll on my shoulder that was injured in last year's car accident), I spoke with the delivery dispatch who told me that they can't find my bed. He has to wait until Monday to find out from the person who received the bed from Costco and if it wasn't hidden somewhere in their warehouse or misdelivered, they're going to have to order a new bed. (Argh!) :-(

Workwise, things have been going great. Fun and creative projects as well as wonderful coworkers. In nearly 20 years in the industry, I don't remember the last time I've felt like I belong on the team. They respect my input - even when it comes to architectural, 3D rendering, and interior design finish ideas. I haven't found the kind of nasty egos or high school snotty cliques that existed at prior firms too. It's really been a refreshing change for me and as a result, I think my stress levels are much more under control.

I'd like to think that my lowered stress levels might tone down my sensitivity to misophonia triggers but alas, that's one thing that is still on high alert for me... At work, I still have difficulty with whistling triggers but also with gum chewers (something I haven't experienced at any of my prior firms), food wrapper rustlers, and the occassional bubble wrap poppers (from the samples that the other designers receive for reviewing).

I've only mentioned my misophonia to a couple of coworkers so far, mainly because I want people to get to know me well before I talk about that side of me. The only people who know right now are a couple of coworkers in the surrounding cubicles (mainly as a result of my asking them to stop making a trigger noise) and one co-worker who I told because I knew once I post blog updates, she'd get the links through my Facebook page. Connection. Telling her was an eye opener for me too because not only was she very sympathetic to my situation (as were the other people I told), she completely understood my sensitivities because her son has autism. The things I told her I react to the most seem to bother her son as well.

Not all of the experiences revealing my misophonia have been positive though. When I first moved into my new apartment, I got to know my neighbors - who liked hanging out by our garages like the men in the "King of the Hill" cartoon. So, when my downstairs neighbor started playing his bass so loud that I could feel it, I asked him - and another time asked his wife - if they could turn the bass down. All I got from both of them was excuses, no consideration. His response was, "I like listening to music when I do chores," and her response was, "You know what a Bose system is, don't you?" (That's not the point... You can still listen to music at a reasonable level while doing chores and what difference is the type of system? You can still lower the bass line without affecting the overall volume.) I even told them that I have a medical condition, hoping they'd be a little more considerate knowing that. I was wrong.

So nearly a month went by after I spoke with both of them and they kept blasting the bass. It was getting to the point when I was afraid to unpack my fragile glass/china artwork, so I went to the leasing office to see if they could come to my apartment and hear what I was experiencing. Even before we made it inside my apartment, they could hear the music blasting from outside my neighbor's apartment. When we went into my apartment, one of the management people even said she could feel it too. So, since the music was going, they decided to speak to him "in the act." Of course, he went on the defensive and did a "tit for tat" complaint about me but that wound up backfiring on him because one of the items he complained about didn't even exist in my apartment! It was something I mentioned I had during my conversation in the alley with my neighbors before the movers delivered my belongings, but it never made it off the truck, let alone into my apartment. So, his complaints about me only dropped his credibility to the management office. (It pays to not lie!)

Unfortunately, I think this little incident hurt the guy's ego so he started having what I'd like to call "tantrums" - essentially, he slams his doors so hard that my apartment shakes. (Love the example they're setting for their two little girls and baby... When you're annoyed by something, just be passive aggressive and hope to annoy the other person.) That's okay though... I've just made a log for every time he slams the door or blasts his music. Eventually, it's going to bite him back in the butt hard! :-)

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    About the Author

    Emlyn Altman has been suffering with misophonia for over 35 years, even though she only found out about the actual medical condition much more recently. As frustrating as the condition has been over the years, her heightened sensitivities across all the senses considerably influenced her talents within the visual fine arts (particularly sculpture), music (singing, piano, and many other instruments), writing, and culinary backgrounds, as well as professional achievements as an architectural lighting designer. Her goal in developing this website is to promote more awareness about misophonia and help other sufferers as well.


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