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The "Butterfly's Whisper" Blog

Welcome to my blog. I hope by sharing my own misophonia experiences, others who are frustrated with misophonia sensitivities will discover that they're not alone. I also hope that people who may not have misophonia will gain some insight about what it's like to have this condition.

Please feel free to post any comments or use the "Contact Us" page if you have any questions/comments you don't want to post online.

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Another day, another trigger...

2/22/2015

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One of the nice things about my new house is that my bedroom has an eastern exposure, so my body naturally gets up early - even before my alarm. Given that the routes to work are either bumper to bumper traffic on a highway or the stop and go local routes with traffic lights, being able to leave early in the morning is a good thing. I'm not normally a morning person so it's good be able to get on the road as early as I can.

I thought that getting into the office early would also be a good thing. Fewer people usually means fewer misophonia triggers. Unfortunately, the coworker who sits behind me also gets in early, so the buzzing of his speakers playing music softly is even more noticeable in the quieter environment. (Very similar to how triggers stand out more when in a quiet environment like a library.) It was like ice picks piercing my ears - and the I/T guy whistling while working on various computers in the office space was even worse. (Sigh.) I'd love to be working in an environment where I don't feel like I have to blast my earbud music the second I walk in the door.

I miss the days when I didn't have to share a workstation surface with a coworker. It's bad enough when my coworker bangs a ream of paper on the worksurface to align all the pages - the vibrations traveling all the way to my end so I have to work with my arms raised (very tiring). Every now and then she'll have teammates from her projects visit her, which creates additional distractions... Earlier this week, the CAD Manager sat down to talk with her, all the while banging the short end of his cell phone on the counter surface, sliding his hand down the phone until it reached the bottom, picking it up again between his two fingers, flipping it so his fingers were now at the top, hitting the phone on the countertop.... Over and over and over. I wanted to smush the phone down so it laid flat on the table or snatch the phone out of his hand and throw it across the room. It was so freaking annoying!

This is a person who I try to sit as far away from when we're in the same team meetings in conference rooms. He just can't keep his hands still. He's either clicking his pens or flipping them around his thumb.
There have been times when I've actually moved my chair away from the table to visually put the person sitting next to me between myself and the viewpoint of this annoying fidgeter. I must look ridiculous but if it prevents me from seeing his fidgeting in my field of view so I can focus on the meeting, so be it!

I also went to an industry seminar/networking meeting after work one evening. I thought I found a perfect seat out of the way where I could see the presentation with minimal distractions. Unfortunately, an older gentleman sat on the ledge behind me and, for whatever reason, felt it necessary to put his toe against the leg of my chair. I offered him the chair, but he refused to take the seat. As soon as I felt the vibration of his toe hitting the chair, I scooted forward to give him more space yet again, he put his toe against the leg of my chair. I could feel the anger bubbling up inside of me so I stood up, walked behind him, and stood for the rest of the meeting. Only then did he take the chair in which I was sitting. Of course, even though I eliminated that tactile trigger, now that I was standing behind the audience, I was distracted by the visual triggers of a woman twirling her hair and another bouncing her leg. I tried using my hand to block the view of the triggers, but was afraid the speaker would think I was raising my hand to ask a question. So, I just closed my eyes and prayed people didn't think I was falling asleep.

Yesterday, I had a lovely meeting at a coffee shop with a misophonia sufferer who's in high school along with her parents. (If it weren't for the fact that some people include their general location in the optional section of the SenseHaven.com contact form, I wouldn't have known about the few people who suffer from misophonia who live near me.) I'm hoping to connect them with some of the other sufferers whom I've met in the area. Who knows? Maybe it'll grow into a regular support group for misophonia sufferers and those connected with them.    :-)
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    About the Author

    Emlyn Altman has been suffering with misophonia for over 35 years, even though she only found out about the actual medical condition much more recently. As frustrating as the condition has been over the years, her heightened sensitivities across all the senses considerably influenced her talents within the visual fine arts (particularly sculpture), music (singing, piano, and many other instruments), writing, and culinary backgrounds, as well as professional achievements as an architectural lighting designer. Her goal in developing this website is to promote more awareness about misophonia and help other sufferers as well.


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